Blitzen’s White Christmas – Blogfestivus Series

Zis iz zee original photo, before it vas edited by zertain parties.

Zis iz zee original photo, before it vas edited by zertain parties.

Zee Christmas holiday hess no longer zee pureness it vonce had, yes?

Ven I vas young buck, vee flew through zee night to bring presents to zee kinder.  Vee flew right past zee homes of zee unpure und vee left entire continents in zee dark – zoe to speak, yes?

Und now?  Now vee must fly much furzer und bring zee presents to zoe many more kinder, even zee schwartzas, yes?  Vee must fly zoe far und land on roofs vissout zee chimneys, und vee must carry toys which mine elves make for zee unpure kinder.

During zee great var, I tried to get Zanta to zee the light.  If vee could heff helped zee cause a little bit, zee vorld might be verrry different today, yes?  But that Zaint Nick, he vould not budge.  He vished to remain neutral.  He vas like Svitzerland mit a big vite beard.  Zo jolly, but zo spineless, yes?

Und now?  Now zee ozzer reindeer, zay do not vish for ozzers to zpeak to me.  Zay vill not zay it out loud, but zay too vish for zee purer Christmas.  Zee reindeer und even zee elves know zat zee holidays….

Vait!  I am not done vit mine interview!  Take zat tape recorder back outta zee case!  I heff more to zay about…

Ahh!…I zee clearly now.  You are viss the media, und vee know who controls you…Vee are finished talking, yes?

Ach!

Below is a list of all the other Blogfestivus participants – though after the gem I posted above, they may be busy distancing themselves from anything to do with Blitzen or reindeer  (Personally, I think this sociopathic Nazi version of Blitzen presented a golden opportunity for humor).

Blogdramedy (Ring Leader, reindeer enthusiast, generally cool chick)

Steve BetzRewind ReviseLenore DianeShouts from the Abyss -

Fit it or DealLynn Schneider BooksSo I Went Undercover

Joe Owen’s BlogMC’s WhispersLittleWonder2  –

Blog It or Lose It!Voice in MeApprentice, never master

A Year of Daily PostsDiary of a Sensitive SoulDot Knows!k8edid

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20 responses

    • I’m so glad to read some comments. This one has been pretty quiet compared to most of my stuff, which has freaked me out a little. Tomorrow is Rudolph, and then it’s back to pissing and moaning about my work-a-day life.

      • I don’t think that the quietness has much to do with the quality of the post. My blog has been incredibly slow for the last few day. It’s like everybody is sticking to themselves right now. Understandable given the current mood.
        This is a great post though, as all in this series have been.

        • You’re probably right about the slowness. I was a little reluctant to be poking fun at those wacky white supremacists, and then events made the world a whole lot darker.

          In any case, I’m glad you’re enjoying the posts. Tomorrow is a new direction for the Rudolph interview….the whole thing’s been a bit of a challenge, since I can’t even keep my comments under 243 words!

    • I’m SO glad you enjoyed it. I found myself chuckling at lines like “unpure kinder” and “Svitzerland mit a vite beard” – writing in an accent is fun, and the Nazi angle is always good for a few yuks. I wish I had thought to introduce a politically incorrect reindeer sooner.

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