Happy Anniversary, Darlings!

I got a little message on my WordPress dashboard.  Apparently, today is my anniversary here in blog-land.  It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year already, but at the same time, it seems like I’ve been here so much longer.

If you haven't read my "47 Shades of Pink" then you just don't love me.  Illustration by the author

If you haven’t read my “47 Shades of Pink” then you just don’t love me. Illustration by the author

I did a quick Google search and it turns out that the correct gift for the first anniversary is paper.  Considering I read and write blog posts on a computer, the thought of paper as an anniversary gift for you is both ironic and sweetly sentimental.  While it is our anniversary, I’m expecting nothing in return, since you probably didn’t know till I just told you.  Please don’t go out and get me some last minute piece of crap made out of paper – we’ll both regret it and I’d like to think we’re better than that.

The colored pencil drawing which accompanied my "Lust" entry in K8edid's 7 Deadly Sins contest.  I didn't win lust, but the drawing featured some sassy espadrilles! Illustration by the author

The colored pencil drawing which accompanied my “Lust” entry in K8edid’s 7 Deadly Sins contest. I didn’t win lust, but the drawing featured some sassy espadrilles! Illustration by the author

So, anyway onto my gift to you.  It’s really not so much a gift as it is a contest to win my love.  As much as I’d rather send each and every one of you an anniversary gift, now that I’ve built up a small but loyal cadre of followers, the cost of printing and shipping could easily run into the tens of dollars.

Tihs is actually a composite with typeface and the drawing.  You don't get the typeface, just the fat guy in the diner.  For the record, his name is not Willie Prader, it's Mr. Light.  Illustration for the winning gluttony entry in the 7 Deadly Sins contest.  Illustration by the author

This is actually a composite with typeface and the drawing. You don’t get the typeface, just the fat guy in the diner. For the record, his name is not Willie Prader, it’s Mr. Light. Illustration for the winning gluttony entry in the 7 Deadly Sins contest. Illustration by the author

One thing I’ve learned over our whirlwind courtship has been that not every post I’ve presented you with has been fully appreciated for the gem I’d thought it was.  In fact, a few of my posts have been barely acknowledged by you, darling.  It’s alright, I understand.  I know how busy you get with your other life away from me.  Those pesky kids, that demanding boss and your needy spouse.  I realize that my thirst for acceptance and blog adoration is going to end up on the back burner.  It’s okay – don’t apologize.

Illustration of the Easter Bunny in the off-season during my exclusive interview with him in a dive bar in the Florida panhandle.  Santa was also there as well as a leprechaun.  Things looked a little dicey for a while there, but I got out without a beating.

Illustration of the Easter Bunny in the off-season during my exclusive interview with him in a dive bar in the Florida panhandle. Santa was also there as well as a leprechaun. Things looked a little dicey for a while there, but I got out without a beating.

Since it’s our anniversary, I thought that maybe you could do a little something for me.  Don’t worry, it doesn’t involve lingerie or role play.  I just want to try to show you those gems one more time, and see if maybe you find them a little better the second time around.  Who knows, they may have aged like fine wines (or they may have turned to vinegar).  Give them a read and tell me which one is your favorite.  You can tell me in a sentence or wax poetic if you so desire.  Do it in the comments section of this very post, so the others can see how crazy you are about me.

The illustration for my sloth entry in the 7 Deadly Sins contest.  The thumb is not easy to draw especially for lazy people like me.(Illustration by the author)

The illustration for my sloth entry in the 7 Deadly Sins contest. The thumb is not easy to draw especially for lazy people like me.(Illustration by the author)

I’ll read your comments and pick my two favorites.  You’ll be notified and then you can choose which one of my dopey drawings you’d like a copy of.  I’ll make a quality copy of it and mail it to you (in the continental US please, I already mentioned the tens of dollars – sheesh!).  You can frame it or line the bottom of the parakeet cage with it.

These were all done before 3/18/2012 and none received more than 10 likes – most received only one or two.  I wasn’t hurt, just a little disappointed.

An early Facebook rant : My Anti-Social Networking

My explanation of my wife’s dislike of me shaving my head :  I Blame Vincent Price

House Hunters International – A little like crack, without the high : Ruminations on House Hunters

Bad hangovers mixed with vivid imagination is a recipe for bad things : Hangovers Dissected

Another Facebook rant – this time about pet memorials : RIP Skippy – We Miss You!

Just a little about yours truly and my wisenheimer ways : My Life As A Wise-Ass

I’ll comb through the accolades and name the winners on March 1st.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to hit “Publish” and pray that I get at least two entries.

Happy Anniversary!

52 responses

    • I was planning on picking the top two comments to each win the print of their choice, but since:
      A). I had limited responses and
      B). I’m just a generous knucklehead and
      C). I’m petrified about insulting anyone who was nice enough to comment,
      I’ve decided to reward each and every commenter from the contiguous United States with the print of their choice.

      So if you are in the lower 48, and wish to have a print mailed to you, please email me your choice of print and mailing address at dlovett54@gmail . If you’re in the lower 48 and don’t care for a print, please reply by telling me you’re in England or Botswana or somewhere in the South Pacific so that my feelings aren’t hurt.

      Congratulations on your impressive win!

  1. Although you said lingerie or role-playing aren’t necsessary, I’m putting on my favorite teddy and pretending to be a desperate housewife…’cause that’s how I roll. I loved the “I Blame Vincent Price” piece because I have a secret crush on all smooth headed men (don’t tell my husband- he has a pretty full head of hair). And the German accent did not sound silly at all in my head…I would never cheat on him so if you could just rub your own bald head for me…ahh..just like that…yeah…ooooooh.

    Ahem. Sorry. I love your illustrations – and admire that talent. I also enjoy wasting weekend mornings in cut-throat pun contests with you.

    Happy Anniversary, Mr. PP. Here’s to many more.

  2. I wish I had time to go back and read these, but sadly I don’t. Am rushing off to go pick up my son. But I’ve read many of your posts in the past, and I think they are all gems!

    Happy one year blog birthday. Mine came and went without fanfare. Guess that wasn’t very nice of me. I didn’t even buy it a gift…

    • I was planning on picking the top two comments to each win the print of their choice, but since:
      A). I had limited responses and
      B). I’m just a generous knucklehead and
      C). I’m petrified about insulting anyone who was nice enough to comment,
      I’ve decided to reward each and every commenter from the contiguous United States with the print of their choice.

      So if you are in the lower 48, and wish to have a print mailed to you, please email me your choice of print and mailing address at dlovett54@gmail . If you’re in the lower 48 and don’t care for a print, please reply by telling me you’re in England or Botswana or somewhere in the South Pacific so that my feelings aren’t hurt.

      Congratulations on your impressive win!

    • I was planning on picking the top two comments to each win the print of their choice, but since:
      A). I had limited responses and
      B). I’m just a generous knucklehead and
      C). I’m petrified about insulting anyone who was nice enough to comment,
      I’ve decided to reward each and every commenter from the contiguous United States with the print of their choice.

      So if you are in the lower 48, and wish to have a print mailed to you, please email me your choice of print and mailing address at dlovett54@gmail . If you’re in the lower 48 and don’t care for a print, please reply by telling me you’re in England or Botswana or somewhere in the South Pacific so that my feelings aren’t hurt.

      Congratulations on your impressive win!!!!

    • I was planning on picking the top two comments to each win the print of their choice, but since:
      A). I had limited responses and
      B). I’m just a generous knucklehead and
      C). I’m petrified about insulting anyone who was nice enough to comment,
      I’ve decided to reward each and every commenter from the contiguous United States with the print of their choice.

      So if you are in the lower 48, and wish to have a print mailed to you, please email me your choice of print and mailing address at dlovett54@gmail . If you’re in the lower 48 and don’t care for a print, please reply by telling me you’re in England or Botswana or somewhere in the South Pacific so that my feelings aren’t hurt.

      Congratulations on your impressive win ! !

  3. Congratulations on your anniversary! Though I’ve followed you around April 2012, so shouldn’t I be celebrating the anniversary in April? :)
    Now, about your cunning ploy to get more page views, or as you call it, “a contest”… Of these posts, my favorite was the Wise-Ass one, particularly because it very accurately describes how I often feel and behave (or try to stop myself from behaving that way). Though my all-time favorite was the Shades of Pink one.

    • Thanks X. Looking back at some of those oldies, I saw your “likes” pretty early on. I appreciate the loyalty (or lack of gumption to unfollow me). I thought 47 Shades was also kind of under-appreciated, but knew it would over shadow all of the true duds if I put it up there.

      • Yes, I’ve even found my “like” on one of those under-appreciated posts. I think your blog was one of the first I ever followed, and it will be among the last I would ever consider unfollowing :)

      • I was planning on picking the top two comments to each win the print of their choice, but since:
        A). I had limited responses and
        B). I’m just a generous knucklehead and
        C). I’m petrified about insulting anyone who was nice enough to comment,
        I’ve decided to reward each and every commenter from the contiguous United States with the print of their choice.

        So if you are in the lower 48, and wish to have a print mailed to you, please email me your choice of print and mailing address at dlovett54@gmail . If you’re in the lower 48 and don’t care for a print, please reply by telling me you’re in England or Botswana or somewhere in the South Pacific so that my feelings aren’t hurt.

        Congratulations on your impressive win ! ! !

  4. Happy Anniversary Point! This is such a great idea because I LOVE your art work and appreciate your talents. I enjoyed RIP Skippy because nothing makes me crazier than stupid FB statuses. I read one yesterday very similar…it’s not a diary, it’s FB.

    • I was planning on picking the top two comments to each win the print of their choice, but since:
      A). I had limited responses and
      B). I’m just a generous knucklehead and
      C). I’m petrified about insulting anyone who was nice enough to comment,
      I’ve decided to reward each and every commenter from the contiguous United States with the print of their choice.

      So if you are in the lower 48, and wish to have a print mailed to you, please email me your choice of print and mailing address at dlovett54@gmail . If you’re in the lower 48 and don’t care for a print, please reply by telling me you’re in England or Botswana or somewhere in the South Pacific so that my feelings aren’t hurt.

      Congratulations on your impressive win! !! !

      • I was planning on picking the top two comments to each win the print of their choice, but since:
        A). I had limited responses and
        B). I’m just a generous knucklehead and
        C). I’m petrified about insulting anyone who was nice enough to comment,
        I’ve decided to reward each and every commenter from the contiguous United States with the print of their choice.

        So if you are in the lower 48, and wish to have a print mailed to you, please email me your choice of print and mailing address at dlovett54@gmail . If you’re in the lower 48 and don’t care for a print, please reply by telling me you’re in England or Botswana or somewhere in the South Pacific so that my feelings aren’t hurt.

        Congratulations on your impressive win!

        ( I realize that you live in the UK, but in the highly unlikely event you have a US address for me to mail to, it’s only fair that I send one to you)

        • Only just saw your comment from a few days ago, I think that’s when WordPress was playing up and not telling us about comment replies! Sadly I am in the UK, but I appreciate that you would have sent me one if I had been in the US! :)

  5. I pick “Ruminations on House Hunters” for some well-deserved comment love. This is NOT just because I crafted practically the same, exact, word-for-word post myself a year and a half ago. http://pegoleg.com/2011/09/28/designed-to-sell-this-house-virgins-international%E2%80%A6pick-me/

    But YOUR version is much funnier, hilariouser, truer and betterer than mine was or could ever hope to be, for SURE! And that is why, even though some might consider it terribly obnoxious to post a link to your own work in somebody else’s comment stream, especially if said commenter doesn’t know how to embed a link so it looks pretty or even probably works, you should pick ME for one of your prizes.

    And have I mentioned before what a strong, sexy, talented guy you are? I’ve always said so – ask anybody.

    By the way, did you get my email yesterday?

    • I did in fact get your email, and I’m going to write you back shortly with a request for your esteemed opinion. If the comment you just made about my sexy geniosity is any indicator, I may have to have you declared insane, but that doesn’t mean I won’t still want your opinion.

    • I was planning on picking the top two comments to each win the print of their choice, but since:
      A). I had limited responses and
      B). I’m just a generous knucklehead and
      C). I’m petrified about insulting anyone who was nice enough to comment,
      I’ve decided to reward each and every commenter from the contiguous United States with the print of their choice.

      So if you are in the lower 48, and wish to have a print mailed to you, please email me your choice of print and mailing address at dlovett54@gmail . If you’re in the lower 48 and don’t care for a print, please reply by telling me you’re in England or Botswana or somewhere in the South Pacific so that my feelings aren’t hurt.

      Congratulations on your impressive win!

      (I know I’m a wuss for not naming 2 actual winners…I’ll try to be more decisive next time – of course you would have been one of the winners, but this way everyone wins)

  6. I have to break with the crowd and say I like this post the most. What a scam! Way to get readers to read your early work. I only wish I’d thought of it first.

    WordPress has NEVER sent me notification of anniversaries. So it’s true then. They do like you the best. You are so FRESH. ;)

    • I was planning on picking the top two comments to each win the print of their choice, but since:
      A). I had limited responses and
      B). I’m just a generous knucklehead and
      C). I’m petrified about insulting anyone who was nice enough to comment,
      I’ve decided to reward each and every commenter from the contiguous United States with the print of their choice.

      So if you are in the lower 48, and wish to have a print mailed to you, please email me your choice of print and mailing address at dlovett54@gmail . If you’re in the lower 48 and don’t care for a print, please reply by telling me you’re in England or Botswana or somewhere in the South Pacific so that my feelings aren’t hurt.

      Congratulations on your impressive win ! – !

  7. I really like the ‘RIP Skippy’ post and ‘Vince Price’ post! The writing about dogs not being able to read in Heaven cracked me up. I’m a HUGE pet lover, but I don’t send messages to dead pets via Facebook. I imagine they would find that quite rude.

    • I was planning on picking the top two comments to each win the print of their choice, but since:
      A). I had limited responses and
      B). I’m just a generous knucklehead and
      C). I’m petrified about insulting anyone who was nice enough to comment,
      I’ve decided to reward each and every commenter from the contiguous United States with the print of their choice.

      So if you are in the lower 48, and wish to have a print mailed to you, please email me your choice of print and mailing address at dlovett54@gmail . If you’re in the lower 48 and don’t care for a print, please reply by telling me you’re in England or Botswana or somewhere in the South Pacific so that my feelings aren’t hurt.

      Congratulations on your impressive win ! ! !

  8. Happy blogiversary! And you finally got your Freshly Pressed pin so you got that going for you. (They sent you the pin didn’t they?)

    Your drawings are incredible! Seriously. Incredible. What are you doing hanging around with us nowheresville losers when you have that kind of talent?

      • Yeah, that pin was great, but what I especially liked was the diamond encrusted FB tiara and year’s supply of Belgian chocolates shaped like the FP logo they sent, didn’t you guys?

    • I was planning on picking the top two comments to each win the print of their choice, but since:
      A). I had limited responses and
      B). I’m just a generous knucklehead and
      C). I’m petrified about insulting anyone who was nice enough to comment,
      I’ve decided to reward each and every commenter from the contiguous United States with the print of their choice.

      So if you are in the lower 48, and wish to have a print mailed to you, please email me your choice of print and mailing address at dlovett54@gmail . If you’re in the lower 48 and don’t care for a print, please reply by telling me you’re in England or Botswana or somewhere in the South Pacific so that my feelings aren’t hurt.

      Congratulations on your impressive win!

      I realize I sent a fairly identical message to all my commenters, but in your case, I really really meant it.

    • I tried to make a blanket comment, letting all of my anniversary commenters know that they were winners of the print of their choice, but copy & pasting is somehow forbidden in the world of comments, so not all of them went through. You are officially a winner of the print of your choice. If you’d like one, email me your mailing address and choice of which drawing you’d like. My email is dlovett54@gmail.com If you’d rather not have one, let’s just both pretend you never got this comment so my feelings don’t get hurt.

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