Castro Gives Me Gastro

"Dead men tell no tales, right Chica? Whaddya say?"
(Image from subverted nation.net)

Reading the news lately has been interesting.

The other day I read an article about Fidel Castro poking fun at President Barrack Obama.  Apparently, Castro found great amusement in Obama’s plan to wear a “guayabera” shirt at some Latin American summit.  I found this to be an amazing story on a couple of levels.

For one thing, Fidel Castro died years ago, didn’t he?  It blows my mind that dead people can come out with these statements and grab all sorts of headlines.  Though in theory, I suppose dead people making statements is actually pretty big news, since the vast majority of them say so little.  Castro was never exactly the quiet type to begin with, so I guess you’d have to expect him to still be a little bit of a loud mouth even in death.

The other astounding aspect of the story is that up till now, I thought the guayabera was only a mythical half dog, half honey badger which roamed the American Southwest and parts of Mexico killing livestock and drawing pentagrams with their blood.  Apparently one of the stories I’d seen on the cover of those gossip rags had actually been true and guayaberas really had been caught.  The thought that there are enough of these incredibly scarce critters to use to make Obama a shirt tells you how out of touch I am with both political and mythical beast news stories.

I really don't see a shirt here. You're gonna have to dry clean it, and it's not going to breathe like a woven natural fiber would. (Image from skepdic.com)

I didn’t read enough of the story to see why Barrack needed one of these animal pelt shirts, but since he’s the President, I’m sure he has a very good reason.  Considering the never-ending game of one upsmanship in Washington, it’s only a matter of time before certain high ranking members of congress start showing up in the halls of power wearing Sasquatch loafers with the little tassels on them.

It’s kind of surprising that Pam Anderson and her PETA hippy sorority haven’t shown up with water balloons filled with red paint crying about the inhumane treatment of the guayaberas and the cruelty of skinning such a rare creature for something as frivolous as a shirt for a head of state.  So many American men had fantasized about her a few decades ago, most of them are shaking their heads today in silent thanks that they don’t have to listen to her yabbering about how wrong it is to rectally electrocute cows.  Time sure gives you perspective doesn’t it, fellas?

So yeah, Castro’s corpse is talking smack about my president.  Pretty mouthy for a dead guy.  I’m considering going back and reading the rest of the story, provided I don’t get distracted by something else first.  I’ll keep you kids posted.

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14 thoughts on “Castro Gives Me Gastro

  1. Judging by the looks on his face he has Gastro.

    The President of the United States can wear whatever he wants no matter how ridiculous it may look!

  2. I know how he feels. I wore my shirt made of faux woolly mammoth hair to work last week, and people wouldn’t stop shooting arrows at me. My feelings were hurt more than the multiple flesh wounds.

  3. Castro IS my gastro. reminds me that my silver jubilee colonoscopy is way over due. Those guayaberas are a bigger hit in the Phillipines than they are in Cuba. I know.

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