PORN STAR FUGITIVE!!

The search is on for a male porn star who is wanted for murder.  While the thought of murder is far from amusing, the idea of a man-hunt for a male porn star is.  Interpol (that’s an actual law organization, not the name of a male porn star) has asked for the public’s help in capturing this alleged killer.  “Man-hunt”, on the other hand is both an official term and the name of a series of movies.

Here are a few possibilities as to what he may be doing as he attempts to avoid capture:

  • delivering pizza with an empty pizza box
  • cleaning a pool
  • working as a plumber without plumbing tools
  • doing construction in a house without any evidence of any construction work in progress
  • cutting the grass in Daisy Dukes and a skin tight shirt without any illegal immigrants helping him

Law enforcement officials also want the public to be aware of other clues which may tip them off.  These include:

  • poorly fitting 70’s porn-star mustache disguise
  • “chicka-chicka-chow-chow” sound track follows him everywhere
  • devoid of back or butt hair
  • his clothes won’t stay on, but if he’s trying to look amateur, he’ll leave his socks on
  • seldom uses words greater than 1 syllable
  • the drapes don’t match the carpet
  • ass tan
  • illegible tattoo on upper arm

Law enforcement officials warn against approaching the fugitive if you see him, as he is assumed to be armed and dangerous.  Literally, his screen name was actually “Armand Dangerouz” for a few years.

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20 thoughts on “PORN STAR FUGITIVE!!

    1. I wanted to work for Interpol, till I found out it wasn’t some kind of porno operation – very disappointing.

      I forgot to point out that he might be working as the hot guy behind the counter at the internet cafe, wearing Daisy Dukes and a tight tank top, but it appears the authorities already figured that one out.

    2. I was so paranoid after my Bieber fiasco, that I rushed to submit this one before I really had to time to flesh it out. There were a couple of things I wanted to change, but just didn’t have time – guess I really pulled a boner there! On the bright side, none of those blog heroes beat me to the money shot on this topic!

    1. irrespective of which porn star fugitive we’re talking about, it’s safe to assume he’ll be masquerading as a pizza delivery guy or a pool cleaner. The sound track he has with him at all times should be a give-away

  1. Can I just see more bullet pointed lists with “ass tan” in them? This was hilarious, but I’m glad I didn’t read this at work. When they look back at my web searches and read statements like “devoid of back or butt hair”, I wouldn’t know what to say them.

    1. Honestly, I wasn’t that happy with it. I think it had good potential, but I got a little paranoid that if I didn’t hurry up and publish it before someone else beat me to it.

      I do regret not using the porn star mustache pic on your profile

      1. Haha, people know that’s fake right? I mean I guess that doesn’t matter, but I’m not sure people realize that.

        But you had some great lines, I wouldn’t be so hard on it. Besides quality beats out the millions of other people who don’t get past the “funny title.”

        1. Fake or not, it’s got Harry Reems written allover it!

          I’ve got a few more started, one with a great titel and no other redeeming qualities, plus my first blog attempt at eroticism! It should be nauseating!

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