A little over a week ago, I was revisited by an old friend. To be more accurate, I was revisited by an old enemy.
He always shows up at the most inopportune time – though with a personality like his, no time is ever a good one. He appears and stays, unwanted, for upward of two months or even three and there’s nothing I can do to make him leave one second sooner than he damn-well pleases. When in town, he’s my constant annoying companion. He’s at his worst when I’m trying to sleep. I can’t sleep for more than a minute without him waking me and reminding me that he’s not happy unless I’m miserable. His very presence turns me from a somewhat likeable-yet-cynical rascal into a miserable, fatalistic version of myself, who no one could like.
He’s here right now, looking over my shoulder as I type these words in direct defiance of his presence. He’s poking me in the back and nagging at me – challenging me to type without acknowledging him. He’s that kind of an ass. He gets most agitated when I try to enjoy life’s simple pleasures, like exercising, watching TV, typing on the computer, and as I’d already mentioned, sleeping.
Enough of this sad attempt at cleverness.
The unwanted visitor is a disk which migrates from its proper home between two of my cervical vertebrae every so often. It moves just far enough out of its proper home to compress a nerve root. As you may know, nerves don’t like being compressed or otherwise jostled. As an example, the ulnar nerve runs just inside your elbow, and when you compress it for a fraction of a second, the resulting yelp of pain and zing is what many refer to as “hitting your funny bone”. While a brief compression of the ulnar nerve may have the inaccurate name of being “funny” or a “bone”, long term compression of a nerve root has no such stupid name. I’m fairly sure this is because those who have experienced it have no creative urge to rename it anything short of pure profanity.
Anyway, I’ve been pretty diligent about trying to give my loyal readers something to chew on a few times each week, and this cursed disk has pretty much sidelined me. I can barely tolerate sitting long enough to read the blogs of my favorites, let alone typing my own. I owed you folks an explanation. On the bright side, maybe this whole thing will serve as an internal editor and keep my posts under 500 words.
Thanks for your understanding.