Madison Avenue – You Done Me Wrong

I bought a new car not too long ago.  Don’t get the wrong impression; I’m not the kind of high-rolling blog writer who can afford to go out and buy a new car whenever I’m not playing squash or taking European vacations.  In fact, this was the first new car I’ve bought in about 20 years.

I took the time to shop around for a while to find the car which best suited me.  I did lean toward the more luxurious side of the middle of the road, largely because by the time another 20 years ticks by, my main mode of transportation will likely be a Hoveround scooter or a hearse.

During the shopping process,  Madison Avenue got in my head and played with my brain.

I looked at the Acura TL.  At the time, their ad campaign featured famous athletes like Calvin “Megatron” Johnson of the Detroit Lions and Olympic free-style skier Ashleigh McIvor being transformed from raw, powerful physical specimens into elegant, refined versions of themselves.  The message is simple; beneath the sophisticated exterior of this car, beats the heart of an elite performer.

This is a still shot from Olympic gold medalist Ashleigh McIvor’s Acura spot. I could have used one from Calvin Johnson’s ad, but I liked this one a little more..OK..a lot more. (Image from

Besides the simplicity of the message, the ad agency had the good sense to use the athletes for their bodies and personae only, leaving the spoken words for voice-over professionals.

Lincoln ads had an appeal as well.  They featured actor John Slattery, who plays the silver-haired Roger Sterling on AMC’s show about 1950’s/60’s Madison Avenue, “Mad Men“.  As a fan of the show, it’s fun for me to see “Roger” – especially in a commercial.  From a casting standpoint, he’s a clever choice.  Even people who’ve never seen Mad Men will perceive Roger, as I prefer to call him, as a man who’s arrived.  A guy who knows what he wants.  Fans of Mad Men will also see a successful man, albeit the vodka-before-lunch, womanizing, advertising mogul sort.

Sorry Roger, though the Lincolns all come with lots of cup holders, I’m afraid that ashtrays are an upgrade. (Image from

One look at Roger Sterling behind the wheel of that Lincoln and you just know that there are ample cup holders and reclining seats.  I have to admit, on some level I pictured myself driving home from The 21 Club with Mad Men sexpot Christina Hendricks draped across the passenger seat beside me.

Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks sitting right next to me in my Lincoln! Did I mention that all Lincolns come standard with dual airbags? Dunno why that suddenly popped into my head. (Image from

Perhaps it was my fear of having explain the busty, redheaded passenger to my wife, or maybe it was the test drives, but I went with the Acura TL.

I’ve been very happy with the car so far.  There is only one qualm really.

Recently, Acura has begun showing a new series of commercials, wherein unsuspecting characters are taken for thrilling rides in Acura vehicles, driven by the likes of loudmouth Dr. Phil and financial guru Suze Orman.  While I’m sure Acura’s ad agency has a good rationale for this new direction, it sticks in my craw to be driving a brand which has aligned itself with these two.  My gut reaction when seeing Dr. Phil and Suze is one of revulsion.  I’m not really a fan of either one of them, and on top of that, they each have “the connection” – whether it’s deserved or not, I perceive them both as darlings of one of my least favorite people, one Oprah Winfrey.

I’m praying that there’s no truth to the rumor that Acura will be replacing the voice in its navigation system with that of Dr. Phil. “You got to make up your mine an turn right onto Willuh Court! It’s time to stann-up fer yerself an do what’s right fer you!” (Image from

I realize that many of my blog readers, particularly females, may take exception to my dislike of Oprah.  Sorry ladies, I just do.  I don’t dislike her because she’s a woman or because she’s black.  Nor do I dislike her because she loses more money in the cushions of the sofa at her beach house than I make in a year.  I just dislike her because I do.  I can’t explain it.  I imagine that it’s akin to the dislike a dog may have for a strange houseguest.  No matter how much affection the host shows the guest or how nice the guest may try to be, the dog just knows, on some visceral level, that the person is not to be trusted.  Given half a chance, the pooch will nip at them, or if possible, take a dump in one of their shoes.  If Oprah ever comes to my house, she damn-well better leave those stinky Jimmy Choo’s on her feet.

Ironically, it’s thanks to the brainstorming of some modern day Roger Sterlings that my beautiful, newish car has been disassociated from Megatron and tied instead to two of Oprah’s lackeys!  I’d be less upset if the Acura TL was named the official car of the Free Jerry Sanduskie movement.

I’m wondering if the trade-in value is high enough to allow me to put myself in the seat of a new Lincoln.

25 thoughts on “Madison Avenue – You Done Me Wrong

  1. That is too funny! Why did they do that?
    I shared a car commercial link last night on Facebook. No Phil or Suze in this one. I thought it was hilarious! Honda Pilot with Nancy and her son Steven.

  2. Ya know what Point, that would bother me on some strange level as well. I would start to think that everyone was looking at me, thinking about Dr. Phil and of course being repulsed. You put so much effort into your purchase, you should at least have a say in having them pull that ad. If not, just look as badass as possible behind the wheel. Good Luck with your new wheels!

  3. I don’t like Oprah simply because she is the reason Dr. Phil is featured in that Acura ad. She is why we know him, and that is enough to earn my dislike.

  4. I know people who love haggling and dealing and just live for buying a new car. I know someone who, after getting the price ridiculously low, and demanding another $100 off uttered the phrase, “Are you seriously going to blow this sale over $100?” I am not made of such stuff. I want to hold them at gunpoint and demand that they tell me how much the car costs.

    Also: female athletes in ads: yay. Dr. Phil in anything: boo.

    1. Haggling over a car price is worthy of an entire post in and of itself.

      After looking over my post, I’ve decided that posting photos of hot red heads and partially clothed Olympic ski bunnies on the same page as a shot of Dr. Phil is similar to flooring the accelerator with the emergency brake on.

  5. Well, I don’t like Oprah either, so I’m more offended by your apologies to the “ladies” than I am your opinion. Have fun with your new car. I bought my first new car in ’03 after 17 years, a Toyota Sequoia. Six months after the purchase, my son asked when we would be getting a new car. It was still brand new to me. I guess perspective is everything. Except for the gas mileage, I still love it.

    1. Sorry to offend you on the Oprah apology. In my defense, I don’t know ANY male Oprah fans, but I am acquainted with several women who believe Ms. Winfrey to be some sort of goddess.

      Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta take a number two in one of the big girl’s pumps.

  6. Phil removes credibility from whatever he touches. If only there were something you could do to restore the lost cred. Come get me, we’ll road trip to Phil’s house. I don’t have a plan after that. We’ll figure it out.

  7. Acura ran into financial trouble. Normally that would mean the guvment would sweep in and hand out $$, but since the president was really busy with getting re-elected and what-all, and the guvment is out of cash, Oprah had to come to the rescue.

    Look for the Gayle King ads appearing shortly.

  8. I can’t believe you posted his photo. Now, all I can hear is his annoying voice in my head. Ahhhhh! I think you should swap out the car emblems. If you put the Lincoln symbol on the car? How funny would that be? 🙂

  9. Pern: you have once again hit your stride after a Short period of ‘pausing for thought’. When I read your pros I hear your voice, every intonation and snort.
    The above piece is brilliant, just like you.

    Keep them coming.
    Fondly : 步入

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