Rudolph’s the famous one, but only since he showed up. Before that foggy night, he was nobody. I was one of the original stars, me and Vixen. We’d go clubbing, carrying on till the wee hours. Show-girls go nuts for a pair of antlers.
One time, we’re at a ritzy club in Paris in the roaring 20’s, in the offseason. Vix and me are feeling no pain. Sometime after midnight, he switched from gin rickeys to shots of absinthe, I’m drinking champagne like it’s 7-Up. We’re hanging out with these two wild chicks from the Folies Bergere.
Just two eternally-young reindeer bucks, a couple of frisky can-can dancers and under 3 hours till dawn.
I don’t know when, but a leprechaun from one of “The Lesser Holidays” starts mouthing off to Vixen. Vix is starting to get a little trippy from the absinthe, and I’m not sure he even knew the wee man was real. I’m flying, but I know an insult when I hear one. Stumpy turned to me and called me a name which I won’t repeat here. I turned to walk away, then gave him a “Nordic tattoo” – two rear hooves to his chin.
All hell broke loose and next thing I remember we’re badly hungover and getting bailed out of the pokey by Santa’s lawyer. Sure, we caught some flak, but the memories of a good party were more than worth Santa’s reprimands – like he’s got room to talk anyway.
Below is a list of links to all the other Blogfestivus writers. You’re welcome to visit their blogs and even read their posts – but any comments should be limited to telling them how witty my post is.
Blogdramedy (Ring Leader, reindeer enthusiast, generally cool chick)
Steve Betz – Rewind Revise – Lenore Diane – Shouts from the Abyss –
Fit it or Deal – Lynn Schneider Books – So I Went Undercover –
Joe Owen’s Blog – MC’s Whispers – LittleWonder2 –
Blog It or Lose It! – Voice in Me – Apprentice, never master –
A Year of Daily Posts – Diary of a Sensitive Soul – Dot Knows! – k8edid
29 thoughts on “Dancer: The E!-True Hollywood Story – Blogfestivus Series”
You know, those lesser holiday characters can be a real pain in the absinthe…
you made a pun thing!
This is turning out to be very educational. I often wondered about Rudolph envy, thanks for brining that to the surface, not to mention the sketchy past of Dancer & Vixen…I just knew they there was more to those names!
We’ve only scratched the surface…
Leprechauns are dicks.
Finally! Someone else who doesn’t think they’re “cute”. They’re not, and they often reek of cheap liquor.
Now I know what P-Diddy does in his down time this time of year. Word.
When you have your own brand of vodka, clubbing in the wee hours is called “market research”.
“Nordic tattoo.” Nicely done. Bravo.
I’m thrilled about the word limit – It keeps me from going on and on (and on)
Too much goodness. I feel like I just overdosed on sugar canes. Good reporting!
There will be as few candy references as possible…and the only plum pudding reference thus far was regarding a mangy reindeer butt.
Paris in the twenties, drunk partying Reindeer. Excellent! 😀
It gets worse…but I’m glad to have your readership.
Will we get mo dirt on the Fat man ? OOO I look forward to the next part
Santa is bound to re-appear, as he is the evil overlord/pedophile uncle/token chub in our scenario. By the way, it’s a true honor to be followed by someone with such a cool blog-name!
Based on a personal experience?
Everythiong I write is based on a personal experience to some extent. For the record, I’ve never had antlers, but I have been accused of being horny. I’ve never tasted absinthe, but I’ve felt a little disoriented once or twice, and though I’ve never been arrested, it may be just because I’ve never been caught. Finally, I’ve never even been close to Paris (France, Texas or Hilton)
I’m glad you cleared all that up but I think antlers would be cute. I do admire your imagination.
I’m glad you enjoy it…sometimes it’s my biggest enemy….usually around 3:30 in the morning…
I love the first person voice. And “Nordic tattoo” — priceless!
sooo many more reindeer to come…with a variety of voices.
We’re really getting a peek behind the curtain. And I’ve known an few “lesser holidays” that I’ve love to give a “Nordic tattoo.”
Thanks! Hope I don’t set the bar too high for myself…there’s quite a few reindeer to go yet.
Loved the ‘nordic tattoo’! 🙂
nordic tattoo seems to be quite the crowd pleaser…
Okay “Lesser Holiday” and nordic tattoo had me rolling!
My hopes exactly. Anytime I have a reader rolling, I’m happy too.
Tune in tomorrow for the most politically incorrect reindeer of all – Blitzen!