Clean and sober goin’ on 80-some years now. Nothing worse than a reformed boozer though, right? Running with the boys was a blast, but speed kills. Who’d know that better than a flying reindeer?
One time in France, I was on a bender with Dancer. We’d been to the Folies, saw Josephine Baker do the Banana Dance. I was drinking gin and had show girls fondling my antlers. We ended up in a smokey club and I started hitting the absinthe. Thats’s when things got weird. I was so twisted, I saw a little man in green calling me a “horny arse”. I closed my eyes to escape the apparition, and when I opened them, he was gone.
Bouncers and bartenders were pushing us outside and yelling at us. The show girls had disappeared. I would have thought they were illusions too, except for the silk stocking I found hanging from my antlers in the jail cell. Dancer was piss drunk, and amused by everything.
As the absinthe high faded and Dancer slept off the champagne, I sat there thinking. I had 7 other deer, a fat guy and millions of kids counting on me. We had no GPS or Rudolph back then. A sleigh full of toys falling out of control because of stoned reindeer would not make a pretty landing.
I walked out of that cell on changed hooves. It’s been nothing stronger than oats and Arctic raspberries for me ever since.
Below is a list of the links to my fellow Blogfestivus writers. I hope they appreciate the effort I’m expending here. I’m delivering them the gift of readers and potential followers, all tied up with a pretty bow. Hey! Stop picking at that bow!
Blogdramedy (Ring Leader, reindeer enthusiast, generally cool chick)
Steve Betz – Rewind Revise – Lenore Diane – Shouts from the Abyss –
Fit it or Deal – Lynn Schneider Books – So I Went Undercover –
Joe Owen’s Blog – MC’s Whispers – LittleWonder2 –
Blog It or Lose It! – Voice in Me – Apprentice, never master –
A Year of Daily Posts – Diary of a Sensitive Soul – Dot Knows! – k8edid
1pointperspective 
Hahahahaha! Another good morning chuckle. You know when you have silk stockings hanging from your antlers, without the memory of that good time, it’s time to make a change. I’m really grateful Vixon didn’t “find God” that might not go over well with the other big guy.
Ps. I think I could have been Dancer at one point in my life…..
Many of us could have been Dancer, but who can remember?
Great! Yeah, the stockings hanging from antlers, what an image.
Been there…done that…ahh Paris!
Damn. You’re good.
…and you haven’t even tasted my cooking!
Damn …. he saw Josephine Baker do the Banana Dance? Woot! And all before the days of the cell phone camera. Blast.
Good point. If you’ve seen the Banana Dance, you might find it bears some resemblance to Isadora Duncan’s less famous “Plantain Shuffle”.
[facepalm]
At least he’s still go the stories.