
Most reindeer couldn’t say where things went wrong. I can tell you every detail.
It was 1947. We were on a steep roof on the outskirts of Nutley, New Jersey. The big man was carefully making his way over toward the chimney. We stood there waiting, trying to be quiet. As he heaved himself onto the chimney, a brightly wrapped present fell out of his sack and skidded across the roof, I lifted my right front hoof and gently stopped it before it got past me. I looked up at the fellas, hoping for an “Atta boy!” or a “Nice stop, Cupe!” but no one had seen it.
I turned back to the Chubster, but he’d already dropped down the chute. I looked at the present. The tag read “To: Salvatore – From: Santa“. I made my fateful decision. I picked it up and tucked it out of sight under the strap of bells on my neck.
Otherwise, the night was uneventful. I had a few moments of guilt, but mostly spent the rest of the night wondering what was inside the wrapping paper.
It was a little metal car. I didn’t spend much time thinking about the Salvatore kid. I covered it with hay in the corner of my stall. The next year it was a doll meant for Gertrude in Dekalb, Illinois.
Some years I don’t manage to take anything, but most years I do. I’m not proud. I just can’t help myself.
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Here’s a list of the links to my fellow Blogfestivus writers. They’re a rag-tag band of knuckleheads, but I love ’em.
Blogdramedy (Ring Leader, reindeer enthusiast, generally cool chick)
Steve Betz – Rewind Revise – Lenore Diane – Shouts from the Abyss –
Fit it or Deal – Lynn Schneider Books – So I Went Undercover –
Joe Owen’s Blog – MC’s Whispers – LittleWonder2 –
Blog It or Lose It! – Voice in Me – Apprentice, never master –
A Year of Daily Posts – Diary of a Sensitive Soul – Dot Knows! – k8edid
A klepto Cupid. Nice.
You can tell from his shifty eyes. I finally know why I never got that G.I. Joe with the kung fu grip – it’s probably up there buried in hay and reindeer dookie.
Ha, I see, you’re going by the faces. I’m going by the names.
Nice job, by the way. I love your responses to the BlogFestivus.
Glad you’re enjoying them so far. I have at least one bad one coming up, maybe two.
Hahahahahahaha! The mystery of the missing skateboard from 1976 has finally been solved. Who wanted that anyway right? Cupid probably saved my some broken bones..right? No, dammit I wanted the skate board and a cast..thanks Cupe, thanks a lot!
He never even used it. Just hid it in there with everything else. In his defense, it’s tough getting all four hooves on that little board, plus there’s not a lot of paved roads up in the North Pole.
This could be a question in Trivial Pursuit. Where did Cupid learn about “nick”ing things? Winona Ryder.
I hope my Easy Bake oven burns down your barn,,,,you fucker!
I spoke with Cupid, he said the 10 watt light bulb wasn’t included, so he never used it.
He’s a prick!
There’s still 3 more reindeer to meet…it may get worse
Oh no, cupid is a klepto. All my childhood innocence is being sullied. I think I will go pop a Xanax.
That should help
Lol..if only I really had some.
Oh, the shame! While y’all are checking on the rest of your missing toys, can you check on the Garfield doll I wanted to badly? Thank you. 😀
btw … this might be good for a writing prompt, no?
It was your idea – I insist that you take all the credit.
dammit. I thought it was because I had been bad!! My Nancy Drews? Etch a sketch? Bastard.
I’m amazed how little compassion everyone has for Cupid. He’s got a problem, dammit!
Really enjoyed this one-great descriptions 🙂
Glad you liked it. As annoying as it is to have these hanging over my head, in a few days I’ll be back to wondering what the hell to write about.
Ya know, the first step is admitting you have a problem.
Exactly! By the way, have you seen my fountain pen? I use it to scribble notes when interviewing reindeer, and I can’t seem to find it….
So sad! As someone that grew up in the Garden State, you don’t f$#^ with kids named Salvatore. Youknowwhatimean?
Especially ones from Nutley. Fuhgeddiboudit!