Zee Christmas holiday hess no longer zee pureness it vonce had, yes?
Ven I vas young buck, vee flew through zee night to bring presents to zee kinder. Vee flew right past zee homes of zee unpure und vee left entire continents in zee dark – zoe to speak, yes?
Und now? Now vee must fly much furzer und bring zee presents to zoe many more kinder, even zee schwartzas, yes? Vee must fly zoe far und land on roofs vissout zee chimneys, und vee must carry toys which mine elves make for zee unpure kinder.
During zee great var, I tried to get Zanta to zee the light. If vee could heff helped zee cause a little bit, zee vorld might be verrry different today, yes? But that Zaint Nick, he vould not budge. He vished to remain neutral. He vas like Svitzerland mit a big vite beard. Zo jolly, but zo spineless, yes?
Und now? Now zee ozzer reindeer, zay do not vish for ozzers to zpeak to me. Zay vill not zay it out loud, but zay too vish for zee purer Christmas. Zee reindeer und even zee elves know zat zee holidays….
Vait! I am not done vit mine interview! Take zat tape recorder back outta zee case! I heff more to zay about…
Ahh!…I zee clearly now. You are viss the media, und vee know who controls you…Vee are finished talking, yes?
Below is a list of all the other Blogfestivus participants – though after the gem I posted above, they may be busy distancing themselves from anything to do with Blitzen or reindeer (Personally, I think this sociopathic Nazi version of Blitzen presented a golden opportunity for humor).
Blogdramedy (Ring Leader, reindeer enthusiast, generally cool chick)
Steve Betz – Rewind Revise – Lenore Diane – Shouts from the Abyss –
Fit it or Deal – Lynn Schneider Books – So I Went Undercover –
Joe Owen’s Blog – MC’s Whispers – LittleWonder2 –
Blog It or Lose It! – Voice in Me – Apprentice, never master –
A Year of Daily Posts – Diary of a Sensitive Soul – Dot Knows! – k8edid
20 thoughts on “Blitzen’s White Christmas – Blogfestivus Series”
Hahahaha…very clever indeed. Oh dear Blitzen, constantly trying g to chase his 5 minutes of fame that were over zoe very long ago.
He likes it in the great white north, yes?
It made me laugh. Reminded me of an old TV programme we used to have called ‘Allo Allo’. Don’t know if you’ve heard of it, it was British. 🙂
Please reference my comment to elleturner, as it applies to you as well. Glad you liked it!
Chuckled all the way through whilst reading aloud to get the accent-great fun! (Yes it reminded me of “‘Allo ‘allo” too-another Brit here!)
It’s funny that Brits can find humor in thick German accents and Nazi’s more easily than some of my Yankee breathren, considering whose cities were bombed and whose weren’t…glad you liked it, in any case.
Awesome read. 🙂
I’m so glad to read some comments. This one has been pretty quiet compared to most of my stuff, which has freaked me out a little. Tomorrow is Rudolph, and then it’s back to pissing and moaning about my work-a-day life.
I don’t think that the quietness has much to do with the quality of the post. My blog has been incredibly slow for the last few day. It’s like everybody is sticking to themselves right now. Understandable given the current mood.
This is a great post though, as all in this series have been.
You’re probably right about the slowness. I was a little reluctant to be poking fun at those wacky white supremacists, and then events made the world a whole lot darker.
In any case, I’m glad you’re enjoying the posts. Tomorrow is a new direction for the Rudolph interview….the whole thing’s been a bit of a challenge, since I can’t even keep my comments under 243 words!
I was right when I gave you the motto “The Bruce Willis of WordPress.” 😉
I dunno about Bruce, I feel like the Blitzen post was more Mel Gibson-esque.
Ach du Leiber!
Ja Ja…Now that I think of it, I’m surprised no one called me on using “yes” instead of “Ja”
Zis voz mein favorite. Christmas Uber Alles!
Those wacky Nazis!
Excellent! Very sneaky with the “even zee schwartzas” and for some reason I just get a kick out of the words “zee unpure kinder.”
I’m SO glad you enjoyed it. I found myself chuckling at lines like “unpure kinder” and “Svitzerland mit a vite beard” – writing in an accent is fun, and the Nazi angle is always good for a few yuks. I wish I had thought to introduce a politically incorrect reindeer sooner.