Why Rudolph Seldom Does Interviews – Blogfestivus Series

Damn paparazzi!  Rudy should have worn a hat with those dark glasses.
Damn paparazzi! Rudy should have worn a hat with those dark glasses.

To: 1 Point Perspective

Memo: Pre-Interview Guidelines

Per previous discussions, please adhere to the guidelines for the interview.  To summarize the critical points:

  • Mr. Rudolph will not entertain requests to light his nose during interviews – not even a little blink.  Please do not ask.
  • No mention may be made of Burl Ives, or his allegations of Beacon-Beak Enterprise’s alleged financial improprieties.
  • Any questions regarding the stag film “Red-Light District of the North Pole” of 1976 will result in immediate termination of the interview and legal action to suppress.
  • Discussions of the Island of Misfit Toys subdivision and time-share profits by the Scarlet Honker Limited Partnership are stictly forbidden.
  • Any discussion of Mr. Rudolph’s possible use of a hyperbaric oxygen chamber will result in immediate cessation of the interview.
  • Any discussion of the ongoing legal action regarding the author Suzanne Collins is forbidden.  Mr. Rudolph and his legal advisors believe that “The Hunger Games” is clearly based on “The Reindeer Games” and as such is in clear violation of intellectual property laws.
  • Any unauthorized use of the Flying-Red-Nose logo is strictly forbidden.
  • Mr. Rudolph does not give autographs at any time.  His hooves are not pen-friendly.
  • Any reference to the pending class-action lawsuit against the “Yukon Cornelius Camp for Wayward Boys” is strictly forbidden.
  • Mr. Rudolph denies any knowledge of Lindsay and Dina Lohan’s alleged Nordic tattoos.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here’s a list of the links to my fellow Blogfestivus writers.  I’m sure they’re as tired of these reindeer as I am.

Blogdramedy (Ring Leader, reindeer enthusiast, generally cool chick)

Steve BetzRewind ReviseLenore DianeShouts from the Abyss

Fit it or DealLynn Schneider BooksSo I Went Undercover

Joe Owen’s BlogMC’s WhispersLittleWonder2  –

Blog It or Lose It!Voice in MeApprentice, never master

A Year of Daily PostsDiary of a Sensitive SoulDot Knows!k8edid

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27 thoughts on “Why Rudolph Seldom Does Interviews – Blogfestivus Series

  1. I love this…I am going to attempt to wrap mine up…I got blindsided by a wave of grief (actually I knew I would get hit…I just couldn’t predict when) because I need a sense of completion.

    You put a great spin on each of these…

  2. Two simple questions that I wish to ask during the interview. Please respond in a timely manner.

    1. There is a rumor that Rudy is going solid-state with a new light-emitting-diode nose. A simple yes or no answer is expected. Don’t get presidential on me.

    2. Has Bambi’s mother filed that paternity suit or has she been bought off? A simple shuffling of the hooves would suffice as an answer.

    Thank in advance for your time, Babs Walter

      1. Bye bye to all the turkeys! Time for the elves and holly!

        I don’t know about you, but I sort of feel like there’s a great big empty spot in my evenings now …. first NaNoWriMo ends and now BlogFestivus ends … [sigh]

    1. Brilliant?!

      Lemme get you out a fan club membership form, pronto. Umm, actually, you may need to start your own chapter. OK, yeah, I admit it, there aren’t any other chapters.

      You said “brilliant” right?

      Bless your heart sarahneeve – you made an old man smile.

        1. No no no, I was confused. Sally Field said “You like me! You really, really like me!” upon winning an Oscar. Although, it may not have had the second “really” in it, and it might have been an Emmy….or maybe it was Sally Kellerman getting a Golden Globe.

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