Eighteen Heads Are Better Than One

Here we are in front of the Tivolli Gardens.  It was beautiful.  It's just over to the right side of the frame.  (Image from kitschy-kitschy-coo.com)
Here we are in front of the Trevi Fountain. It was beautiful. You can’t see it in this shot, but it’s just over to the left side of the frame. (Image from kitschy-kitschy-coo.com)

In a recent news story, it was discovered that a shipment of 18 human heads was discovered in Chicago’s O’Hare Airport.  There was some problem with the paperwork, which ended up bringing the matter to the attention of authorities.  The human heads were originally sent from Illinois to Italy for research then back to Chicago for cremation.

In tribute to this bizarre story, I’ve compiled 18 random thoughts about the trip from the disembodied heads.

1. Good news, I finally got to go to Italy – well, my head got to go.

2.  Italian silk ties at a discount, and here I am without a neck!

3. It doesn’t seem fair that they made me pay a full price airfare when I only used the headrest.

4. Thank goodness I remembered to bring some gum – it’s awful when your ears pop.

5. In Venice as we were about to go under one of those famous bridges,  I yelled to the gondolier, “Watch your head!”  We had a good laugh at that one.

6. I’m glad to be back – they didn’t have Chicago-style deep dish pizza in Italy.

7. I kept screaming at that old guy – “Put me down, I aint no damn bocci ball!”

8. The jet lag has me all messed up.  I’ve got a 9:00 cremation appointment tomorrow morning, but it’ll feel like 4:00 in the afternoon!

9. I can’t believe Alec Baldwin’s head was carrying on about updating his Facebook status when we’d already been asked to shut down our iPhones.

10. On the bright side; I didn’t have to take off my shoes in security.

11. When they say items can shift around in the overhead compartment during the flight, they’re not kidding.

12. They have great public health in Italy – I got the bags under my eyes done, a nose job and still had money left over for round-trip airfare!

13. I was out of the country, how are the Bears doing in the playoffs?

14. Apparently “Teste” means “head” in Italian.  For a while there, a few of us were feeling insulted.

15. I’m not much of an art guy, but the Venus de Milo really moved me.

16. That Italian food was great, but my eyes were bigger than my stomach – seriously, I have no stomach.

17. The emotional highpoint of the trip was when the Organ Donor Men’s Chorus sang their classic rendition of “I left my heart in San Francisco”.

18. I can’t believe they lost my luggage – all my souvenir hats were in there!

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25 thoughts on “Eighteen Heads Are Better Than One

  1. You should feel flattered that I track down your posts all by myself as my reader is no longer sharing your brilliance with me…I had a post started about the traveling heads, but trashed it – it was no where near as funny as this one.

    1. I had much more to write about the heads, but it wasn’t coming together.

      Then I decided that my new (actual new – not you) followers might get the wrong impression with my First Lady hairstyle news post and worry that I’m a windbag and not look at my posts for fear they would take hours to read. Eighteen thoughts can’t take that long to read, right?

      Windbag? ME?!

  2. Who over here said to Italy, “Oh by the way, could you send us 18 heads please?” and they said sure, we will just round up all the vagrants and send you some fresh ones.

  3. I can’t help but wonder for what kind of research these were being sent to Italy, something like that maybe – “Don Santini, here are the heads you requested. Kindly research hem and confirm we got all the right guys”?

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