Profiles In Mediocrity

Blogging has been a part of my exciting life now for about a year and a half.  Like life itself, blogging has had its ups and downs.  I’ve been Freshly Pegged and Freshly Pressed.  I’ve drawn pictures of pigs in dresses and smoking rabbits in dive bars.  I’ve been shut down and resurrected.  I’ve had a few likes, and more than a few comment streams which took on lives of their own.

One of the biggest thrills I get is when the plus sign lights up telling me about the addition of another follower.  The thought that someone out there enjoyed my writing so much that they clicked the “follow” button is a big reinforcer.  For a moment, I can convince myself that I’m doing something right.

I often feel like I should write a quick thank-you note to new followers.  I picture a brief, personalized message on that fancy handmade stationary with the deckled edge.  Alas, I’ve been so busy watching early German fetish porn and trying to come up with new posts, I never get around to sending the notes.  To be perfectly honest, I haven’t even gotten around to buying the stationary yet.

I’ve decided instead to spotlight a couple of lucky followers as a gesture of gratitude to you all.  If it’s not you, I’m hopeful you’ll understand.  Perhaps I’ll do it again in a few months, and you’ll have another chance then.  Don’t act so petty about it – we both know that pouting’s not a good look for you.

The first follower I’d like to profile is none other than ibshealthteam.

She's gorgeous!  Just stay upwind of her!  Trust me on this.  (Image from vodkamom dot com)
She’s gorgeous! Just stay upwind of her! Trust me on this. (Image from vodkamom dot com)

ibshealthteam is a blog devoted to providing support to the thousands of women and handful of men who suffer from the dark, shameful secret of IBS, or Irritable Bowel Syndrome.  I tip my hat to this courageous blogger, who’s single-handedly taking on this embarrassing, often malodorous syndrome.  The author appears to be a beautiful woman who posed for her Gravatar photo on a beach with her arms outstretched and the wind in her hair.  It’s hard to imagine such a lovely creature could know anything about the constipation and flatulance related to IBS, but maybe the seabreeze is helping matters.  She is truly devoted to getting the message out to as many people as she can.  In fact, virtually every  blogger I know has been followed by this brave beauty of the bowels.  There is a rumor that she has followed every single blog on the WordPress site.  I’m sure a few of us who suffer from over-active imaginations may have come to believe that we too suffer from IBS, forgetting for the moment that we hit the all-you-can-eat buffet at El Sombrero over by the mall last night.

The second new follower I’m going to profile is acvhub.  The acv in acvhub stands for apple cider vinegar.  I’m pretty sure hub part stands for “hub”.  This exciting blog showcases the myriad of healthy uses for, you guessed it, apple cider vinegar.  Careful readers/viewers will notice that the posts specify Bragg’s Organic Apple Cider Vinegar above all others.  I say readers/viewers because the blog posts are created using a unique formula;  Each one is actually just the written transcript of the accompanying video.  It’s kind of like going to a meeting and having that chucklehead from marketing read his Power-Point presentation to you verbatim.  Pairing the videos with the text is a great idea, because let’s face it, not all blog readers can actually read.  I don’t know if the makers of Bragg’s Organic Apple Cider Vinegar are aware of the blitzkrieg of free publicity they’re getting or not.  Obviously the good people at WordPress are oblivious to it.

Yessiree, this magic elixir will cure your hangnails, your hallitosis, your lumbago.  It'll win the election and give you an erection (apologies to Tom Waits).  (Image from Amazon dot com - in no small ironic twist, Amazon Shop is also a new follower of mine)
Yessiree, this magic elixir will cure your hangnails, your hallitosis and your lumbago. It’ll win the election and give you an erection (apologies to Tom Waits). (Image from Amazon dot com – in no small ironic twist, “Amazon Shop” is also a new follower of mine)

Since both of these bloggers appear to be prolific, if indescriminate followers, I’m secretly hoping that they cross paths and join forces.  I’m certain that Bragg’s Organic Apple Cider Vinegar can be used to effectively treat and cure irritable bowel syndrome.  The Bragg company will be able to use the resulting profits to give up living like parasites on blogs and start advertising during the Super Bowl like everyone else.  The IBS people can move on to another cause.  They could even use the same initials to represent another group of sufferers.  Of course, I’m referring to Irritating Blog Sycophants, wherein people who actually write are followed by people who aren’t even people, who use the creative efforts of others to selfishly plug their products and causes.

Tune in next time, when I profile several followers who don’t appear to write anything whatsoever or speak English, yet follow my blog.  I’m guessing they are just tagging along for the centerfolds and off-color cartoons.

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73 thoughts on “Profiles In Mediocrity

  1. acvhub is following you? Lucky you! Although, the other day I did get a follow from SexxxxyLingerie. I’m still wondering how in the hell simply following blogs makes a site any money. I think Alice is onto something: they’re trying to spread herpes.

    1. We have just read a blog which mocks our own and while we initially took it in good humour (we even liked it!) the author has since failed to moderate our comments which light heartedly challenge his assertions about our blog.

      Firstly we must address his main point, that we follow blogs for the sake of it. We are a ‘team’ of writers, a blogging collective’ if you will, and each of us follows blogs we like under this name. We follow the blogs which we enjoy, not for any potential gain. We are a blog for IBS sufferers, we are not selling anything, nor do we aim to make money. Our website has ads to cover the cost of the site, nothing else.

      This particular blogger took great pleasure in attacking our following bloggers whom we enjoy. We repeat we are not a company. We respect the bloggers that take the time and effort to produce great work, so to any of you that we have followed, please know that is the reason for our follow.

      Secondly – the author demeaned the IBS condition in a crude and ignorant manner. We have a sense of humour, we understand that not everyone understands the condition, but as we repeatedly state IBS covers far too many symptoms, from mild bloating through to debilitating pain, and anxiety. We took it in good humour originally, however the authors inability to allow our perfectly reasonable comments to be published has angered us deeply.

      Finally, we respect everyone’s opinion and right to express it. However we feel that it is imperative to allow a fair response. To write a blog, with no intent other than to mock others is not in our opinion right or proper. We have been taken back by the warmth and kindness of the majority of other bloggers, it is such a shame that this one individual chooses to mock those who simply wish to help others.

      Many Thanks

      IBS Health Team

      1. Other comments were approved after the ones we originally posted (the timeline clearly shows you had time to approve those), please spare us further comment, we all do this in our own spare time to try and help people with IBS – everyone here has no further interest in being a target of your sarcasm and ridicule.

        In case you think we take IBS too seriously I would just also like you know I watched my young cousin die of leaukimea, I am aware of where ‘IBS’ ranks in the scale of things, and have perspective on the severity of the condition, it does not mean we should not try to help. I hope you have the courage to actually allow this to be published, so far your actions would make that seem unlikely.

        We are all going to take some time away from wordpress, you have soured the experience for us, which is sad given how many kind and genuine folks there are out there. We hope that you find the time and imagination to create clever original blogs which do not simply mock others, the internet has certainly given rise to the brave ‘keyboard warriors’, you appear to be one of their number.

        From all the team we would like to say ‘Ordinary riches can be stolen; real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.’
        Oscar Wilde

        1. Rather than reply to this attack in the comments section, I’ve decided to do so in a brand new post. I hope you’re still following me, at least for this one, then you can drop off the list.

      2. I for one, couldn’t give two shits about IBS prior to this blog. Now IBS is something I’m talking about. For you, if you genuinely care about IBS, that should be a win. But based on your response here, it feels like IBSHealthTeam is just another bloated blog, full of malodorous hot air, appealing to a niche market, escaping spam moderation through a backdoor crack in wordpress’s otherwise fantastic anti-spam efforts.
        You must also know that once a person is allowed to comment on your blog, they no longer need to be “approved” to comment. Once one comment is approved, then that person can comment any time they’d like without moderation.
        I believe you should be thanking 1Point for providing you with some exposure.

    1. We have just read a blog which mocks our own and while we initially took it in good humour (we even liked it!) the author has since failed to moderate our comments which light heartedly challenge his assertions about our blog.

      Firstly we must address his main point, that we follow blogs for the sake of it. We are a ‘team’ of writers, a blogging collective’ if you will, and each of us follows blogs we like under this name. We follow the blogs which we enjoy, not for any potential gain. We are a blog for IBS sufferers, we are not selling anything, nor do we aim to make money. Our website has ads to cover the cost of the site, nothing else.

      This particular blogger took great pleasure in attacking our following bloggers whom we enjoy. We repeat we are not a company. We respect the bloggers that take the time and effort to produce great work, so to any of you that we have followed, please know that is the reason for our follow.

      Secondly – the author demeaned the IBS condition in a crude and ignorant manner. We have a sense of humour, we understand that not everyone understands the condition, but as we repeatedly state IBS covers far too many symptoms, from mild bloating through to debilitating pain, and anxiety. We took it in good humour originally, however the authors inability to allow our perfectly reasonable comments to be published has angered us deeply.

      Finally, we respect everyone’s opinion and right to express it. However we feel that it is imperative to allow a fair response. To write a blog, with no intent other than to mock others is not in our opinion right or proper. We have been taken back by the warmth and kindness of the majority of other bloggers, it is such a shame that this one individual chooses to mock those who simply wish to help others.

      Many Thanks

      IBS Health Team

  2. I don’t think Ms. IBSHealthTeam is following me. I wonder what I’m doing wrong.

    (Kudos to you for finding away to write about these followers without landing yourself in the hoosegow again.)

    1. We have just read a blog which mocks our own and while we initially took it in good humour (we even liked it!) the author has since failed to moderate our comments which light heartedly challenge his assertions about our blog.

      Firstly we must address his main point, that we follow blogs for the sake of it. We are a ‘team’ of writers, a blogging collective’ if you will, and each of us follows blogs we like under this name. We follow the blogs which we enjoy, not for any potential gain. We are a blog for IBS sufferers, we are not selling anything, nor do we aim to make money. Our website has ads to cover the cost of the site, nothing else.

      This particular blogger took great pleasure in attacking our following bloggers whom we enjoy. We repeat we are not a company. We respect the bloggers that take the time and effort to produce great work, so to any of you that we have followed, please know that is the reason for our follow.

      Secondly – the author demeaned the IBS condition in a crude and ignorant manner. We have a sense of humour, we understand that not everyone understands the condition, but as we repeatedly state IBS covers far too many symptoms, from mild bloating through to debilitating pain, and anxiety. We took it in good humour originally, however the authors inability to allow our perfectly reasonable comments to be published has angered us deeply.

      Finally, we respect everyone’s opinion and right to express it. However we feel that it is imperative to allow a fair response. To write a blog, with no intent other than to mock others is not in our opinion right or proper. We have been taken back by the warmth and kindness of the majority of other bloggers, it is such a shame that this one individual chooses to mock those who simply wish to help others.

      Many Thanks

      IBS Health Team

        1. As I wrote in my Hyundai suicide commercial discussion – some PR folks feel there’s no such thing as bad publicity. You’ll be horrified to know that one of the posts I wrote based on your inspiration is in my rebuttal. I bet you can find it.

                1. You aint lying sister! I would have steered clear of that one – I’ve got a long life in front of me. In a related twist, no thank you card yet from the folks at Bragg’s organic apple cider vinegar! Talk about a lack of gratitude!

  3. I have to say I’m very impressed with your record and the quality of your followers, to whom I shall add my name. I have been blogging for about two years now, and have not been anywhere near being ‘Freshly Pressed’ vacuumed or bestowed with any honour worth the mentioning, but I have come across some remarkable lives, and that has been the secret of my continuing addiction. Nice to meet you.

      1. I know. I saw that. Just now (Tuesday afternoon). I’m really sorry. The other day, I got 350 comments that were not picked up by the WordPress spammer. Go figure.

        No offense, but your blog is unique and I appreciate you for it. Humor has no real boundaries. Black humor is always black.

  4. In order to avoid mediocrity may I make a suggestion. This has worked wonders for me. I have four blogs going at once. I follow myself on all four. Then I share on twitter and FB. I now understand myself much better. This also has the added benefit of no mediocre followers. Even spammers stay away. Thank the lord for pingbacks. I have had quite the volley going for the last two years. Like shitsophrania; it is never lonely.

    1. We have just read a blog which mocks our own and while we initially took it in good humour (we even liked it!) the author has since failed to moderate our comments which light heartedly challenge his assertions about our blog.

      Firstly we must address his main point, that we follow blogs for the sake of it. We are a ‘team’ of writers, a blogging collective’ if you will, and each of us follows blogs we like under this name. We follow the blogs which we enjoy, not for any potential gain. We are a blog for IBS sufferers, we are not selling anything, nor do we aim to make money. Our website has ads to cover the cost of the site, nothing else.

      This particular blogger took great pleasure in attacking our following bloggers whom we enjoy. We repeat we are not a company. We respect the bloggers that take the time and effort to produce great work, so to any of you that we have followed, please know that is the reason for our follow.

      Secondly – the author demeaned the IBS condition in a crude and ignorant manner. We have a sense of humour, we understand that not everyone understands the condition, but as we repeatedly state IBS covers far too many symptoms, from mild bloating through to debilitating pain, and anxiety. We took it in good humour originally, however the authors inability to allow our perfectly reasonable comments to be published has angered us deeply.

      Finally, we respect everyone’s opinion and right to express it. However we feel that it is imperative to allow a fair response. To write a blog, with no intent other than to mock others is not in our opinion right or proper. We have been taken back by the warmth and kindness of the majority of other bloggers, it is such a shame that this one individual chooses to mock those who simply wish to help others.

      Many Thanks

      IBS Health Team

    1. We have just read a blog which mocks our own and while we initially took it in good humour (we even liked it!) the author has since failed to moderate our comments which light heartedly challenge his assertions about our blog.

      Firstly we must address his main point, that we follow blogs for the sake of it. We are a ‘team’ of writers, a blogging collective’ if you will, and each of us follows blogs we like under this name. We follow the blogs which we enjoy, not for any potential gain. We are a blog for IBS sufferers, we are not selling anything, nor do we aim to make money. Our website has ads to cover the cost of the site, nothing else.

      This particular blogger took great pleasure in attacking our following bloggers whom we enjoy. We repeat we are not a company. We respect the bloggers that take the time and effort to produce great work, so to any of you that we have followed, please know that is the reason for our follow.

      Secondly – the author demeaned the IBS condition in a crude and ignorant manner. We have a sense of humour, we understand that not everyone understands the condition, but as we repeatedly state IBS covers far too many symptoms, from mild bloating through to debilitating pain, and anxiety. We took it in good humour originally, however the authors inability to allow our perfectly reasonable comments to be published has angered us deeply.

      Finally, we respect everyone’s opinion and right to express it. However we feel that it is imperative to allow a fair response. To write a blog, with no intent other than to mock others is not in our opinion right or proper. We have been taken back by the warmth and kindness of the majority of other bloggers, it is such a shame that this one individual chooses to mock those who simply wish to help others.

      Many Thanks

      IBS Health Team

  5. Thank you ! Evangelical about getting the message across, what can we say ! We do read the blogs we follow by the way, is a team of us who like to follow the many great blogs out there of which yours is one we all enjoy. We genuinely just want to help and enjoy reading great blogs of that we are guilty!

  6. And by the way ……. We are not selling anything! We have no agenda whatsoever, and no money changes hands with our blog/website (had to get that in there after re-reading your blog)

    1. And in a bit of epic irony, Just after posting IBSHealthTeam started following me within minutes of posting that comment.
      It almost feels like I caught something from reading your blog.

    2. Count your blessings Victor. The IBS army has come after me, and they’re upwind! Just for that, I’ve written a rebuttal to their attacks on my sterling character. Look for it in a few minutes as a new post.

  7. There does seem to have been an increase in dodgy followers lately doesn’t there, I’ve seen several bloggers speaking about it, we blame the new little thingy next to the reader which highlights blogs we might want to follow. I’ve had a several new followers who appear to do nothing but reblog others, without any commentary or anything, and without appearing to be trying to sell anything, not sure what they’re trying to do, but I suspect it’s not good!

    1. We have just read a blog which mocks our own and while we initially took it in good humour (we even liked it!) the author has since failed to moderate our comments which light heartedly challenge his assertions about our blog.

      Firstly we must address his main point, that we follow blogs for the sake of it. We are a ‘team’ of writers, a blogging collective’ if you will, and each of us follows blogs we like under this name. We follow the blogs which we enjoy, not for any potential gain. We are a blog for IBS sufferers, we are not selling anything, nor do we aim to make money. Our website has ads to cover the cost of the site, nothing else.

      This particular blogger took great pleasure in attacking our following bloggers whom we enjoy. We repeat we are not a company. We respect the bloggers that take the time and effort to produce great work, so to any of you that we have followed, please know that is the reason for our follow.

      Secondly – the author demeaned the IBS condition in a crude and ignorant manner. We have a sense of humour, we understand that not everyone understands the condition, but as we repeatedly state IBS covers far too many symptoms, from mild bloating through to debilitating pain, and anxiety. We took it in good humour originally, however the authors inability to allow our perfectly reasonable comments to be published has angered us deeply.

      Finally, we respect everyone’s opinion and right to express it. However we feel that it is imperative to allow a fair response. To write a blog, with no intent other than to mock others is not in our opinion right or proper. We have been taken back by the warmth and kindness of the majority of other bloggers, it is such a shame that this one individual chooses to mock those who simply wish to help others.

      Many Thanks

      IBS Health Team

  8. ibshealthteam: spamming the same post over and over doesn’t convince people that you have been wronged, it just makes you look insecure. Furthermore the fact that all you stand accused of is following people indiscriminately to get them to read your blog, makes your over reaction seem more pathetic.

  9. Targ like post. Targ blogger like you Mr. Perspectiveman. Targ follow Mr. Prespectiveman blog. Targ like Mr. Persptiveman blog long time now. Targ write blog about targ. Perspectivemn model for Targ. Perspectiveman Targ hero – more than Greatest American Hero now. Yay Mr. Perspectv Man!

  10. Oh wow… I was aware that Irritable Bowel Syndrome is a real problem, but I’m glad to find out that this is real blogger, too! I agree with Laura, maybe just a little too irritable, and I wonder if that Bragg Apple Vinegar may have caused the irritation.
    And it’s kind of strange that all posts on the ibshealth blog are related to this post.

  11. This post is just too, too good. I have a “follower” who likes every one of my posts and their entire blog is dedicated to foot fetishes. While that’s some people’s fancy, I can’t say it’s mine. Despite this, I thoroughly appreciate Mr. or Mrs. Foot Fetish and their liking ways. Thanks for the great morning laugh!

  12. Greetings I am so glad I found your site, I really found
    you by accident, while I was researching on Yahoo for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say kudos for a
    incredible post and a all round exciting blog (I also love the
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    but I have book-marked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when
    I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please do
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