It’s happened again. Someone has created an award, and… [shuffling feet, blushing slightly]…I’ve won it. This particular award is timely in its arrival in the in-box I normally reserve for Nigerian inheritance notices and Swedish erotica. It’s the Loyal Reader Award, which comes complete with
fraternity hazing rituals rules and a groovy badge which may or may not infringe on the copyrighted material of one Peter Max.
In these times of followers who don’t follow or even understand my native tongue, it’s time we gave credit to our followers who actually follow us – those hearty souls who endeavor to read nearly everything we write. I was nominated for this noble award by the globe-trotting Blogdramedy. She felt bad for me after I whined about my non-following followers. Perhaps she knew how emotionally drained I was after my very public spat with those cranky-pants gas-bags over at Team Irritable Bowel Syndrome. It’s even possible that the lovely Ms. Dramedy mistook my frequent visits to her posts as being due to my reading them, when as often as not, I’m just checking in to see if the skirt in her header illustration has been raised any higher than it was the last time I checked it. I’m just a sucker for leggy babes – rumor has it there’s a scooter in the picture too, though I don’t recall seeing one.
In any case, I know better than to snub an award from this particular blogger, lest my invitation to next year’s holiday blogfest get “lost in the mail.”
The rules for this particular award, as I understand them, are fairly simple:
1. Thank the person who nominated you. Grazzi, Bloggia Dramedella! Tuttorosso al fresco parmigiano!
2. Display the badge proudly on your blog – I promise to do so. In fact, the first chance I get, I’m going to put it right on the mantle where the Liebster Award currently sits. The Liebster award is getting dusty and to be honest, ever since someone gave Liebsters to “Ohiodiscountinsulatedwindowscall4afreequote” and “earnXtramoneyAskmehow”, the trophy just doesn’t have the same cache’.
3. Nominate everyone you know who may deserve it – luckily for almost everyone I know on this blog site, Blogdramedy has amended that to “one person”. After careful consideration and possibly throwing a dart at my list of followers, I have decided to nominate the lovely and talented Jots From A Small Apt. Jots, as her buddies like to call her, consistently writes witty and insightful posts. She occasionally favors her readers with drawings and other artwork she’s created. What she sees in the naughty drivel I regularly pollute this site with is beyond me. Perhaps she has a thing for Bald Bad Boy Bloggers. Perhaps she feels she can “change” me. Forget it, Dottie – I’m a rebel. Anyway, go check her out – she’s still posting gems, despite recently injuring her arm in a mosh pit incident.
4. Answer a rhetorical question. I know you’re not supposed to answer rhetorical questions, but the one BD asked just begs to be answered:
Can you drink and blog?
My answer, quite simply, is that I have difficulty not drinking and blogging. I once wrote a very short story which described the vodka and grapefruit experience so exhaustively that my wife took away my keys. If alcohol isn’t featured as my topic, then it’s likely playing a role in either inspiration, keyboard lubrication or both. I tried smoking crack and blogging, but I live in the suburbs and the inner city crack house I was frequenting didn’t have wifi – I tell you, it’s amazing what passes for living for some people.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to find out the best way to patch a dart hole in a computer screen.