So Many Awards, So Few Cash Prizes

It’s happened again.  Someone has created an award, and… [shuffling feet, blushing slightly]…I’ve won it.  This particular award is timely in its arrival in the in-box I normally reserve for Nigerian inheritance notices and Swedish erotica.  It’s the Loyal Reader Award, which comes complete with fraternity hazing rituals rules and a groovy badge which may or may not infringe on the copyrighted material of one Peter Max.

Check out the funky colors, maaan!
Check out the funky colors, maaan!

In these times of followers who don’t follow or even understand my native tongue, it’s time we gave credit to our followers who actually follow us – those hearty souls who endeavor to read nearly everything we write.  I was nominated for this noble award by the globe-trotting Blogdramedy.  She felt bad for me after I whined about my non-following followers.  Perhaps she knew how emotionally drained I was after my very public spat with those cranky-pants gas-bags over at Team Irritable Bowel Syndrome.  It’s even possible that the lovely Ms. Dramedy mistook my frequent visits to her posts as being due to my reading them, when as often as not, I’m just checking in to see if the skirt in her header illustration has been raised any higher than it was the last time I checked it.  I’m just a sucker for leggy babes – rumor has it there’s a scooter in the picture too, though I don’t recall seeing one.

In any case, I know better than to snub an award from this particular blogger, lest my invitation to next year’s holiday blogfest get “lost in the mail.”

The rules for this particular award, as I understand them, are fairly simple:

1. Thank the person who nominated you.  Grazzi, Bloggia Dramedella!  Tuttorosso al fresco parmigiano!

2. Display the badge proudly on your blog – I promise to do so.  In fact, the first chance I get, I’m going to put it right on the mantle where the Liebster Award currently sits.  The Liebster award is getting dusty and to be honest, ever since someone gave Liebsters to “Ohiodiscountinsulatedwindowscall4afreequote”  and “earnXtramoneyAskmehow”, the trophy just doesn’t have the same cache’.

3. Nominate everyone you know who may deserve it – luckily for almost everyone I know on this blog site, Blogdramedy has amended that to “one person”.  After careful consideration and possibly throwing a dart at my list of followers, I have decided to nominate the lovely and talented Jots From A Small Apt. Jots, as her buddies like to call her, consistently writes witty and insightful posts.  She occasionally favors her readers with drawings and other artwork she’s created.  What she sees in the naughty drivel I regularly pollute this site with is beyond me.  Perhaps she has a thing for Bald Bad Boy Bloggers.  Perhaps she feels she can “change” me.  Forget it, Dottie – I’m a rebel.  Anyway, go check her out – she’s still posting gems, despite recently injuring her arm in a mosh pit incident.

4. Answer a rhetorical question.  I know you’re not supposed to answer rhetorical questions, but the one BD asked just begs to be answered:

Can you drink and blog?

My answer, quite simply, is that I have difficulty not drinking and blogging.  I once wrote a very short story which described the vodka and grapefruit experience so exhaustively that my wife took away my keys.  If alcohol isn’t featured as my topic, then it’s likely playing a role in either inspiration, keyboard lubrication or both.  I tried smoking crack and blogging, but I live in the suburbs and the inner city crack house I was frequenting didn’t have wifi – I tell you, it’s amazing what passes for living for some people.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to find out the best way to patch a dart hole in a computer screen.

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55 thoughts on “So Many Awards, So Few Cash Prizes

        1. Aww shucks! You’ll be thrilled to hear that my “Christmas Greetings From the Zombie Apocalpse” blog post has been expanded to around 3400 words. I’m in the midst of looking at illustrating it to create my first attempt at a graphic novel. Whether ut ever sees the light of day, is another question.

    1. You’ll come for the picture but stay for the writing. She’s always posting good stuff. As for the header picutre, I’m not sure whether to categorize it as a Vargas Girl or a Vespa Girl.

  1. Polishing my barn boots for dancing ’til dawn should you run out of tourist traps, spas and photo opportunities for yours and Mrs.1points visit . (Silly you missed Portland’s Naked Bike Ride….next year for sure, Right??)
    You are MY Toot’s Potatoes…..
    Jots

    1. Jots,
      Dancing… That’s sitting on a couch, listening to Pink Floyd surrounded by a haze of patchouli?
      Le Clown

  2. Congratulations from a follower (yes, my Master and Lord of Mu … Moo? Mu-Mu? … I’m getting confused – it happens) and who understands your native tongue (because you are such a cunning linguist!). My the award sit on your mantle dustily! Yea, verily (or something)!

    Just one question – are you related to Bob Barker?

  3. You get Swedish erotica?? Damn, I’m doing something wrong, I never get the good stuff. In fairness to some of the spammers, some of them put out some great stuff. I myself gave the Sunshiney Blogger award to lista de emails because they kept telling me what a great website I had and that they’d be back to visit often.

    1. In all fairness, it shoul be noted that I have a subscription for the Swedish Erotica, and it’s actually the vintage stuff, so it’s mostly black and white and “artsy” by today’s standards.

  4. Now THAT’S how you write an acceptance. I hope future Oscar winners are reading. When I read about you checking out my header I snorted rosato wine and man, that stuff stings! I’m holding on to this award and handing it out monthly. If for no other reason than it gives me an idea for a post…well done you!

  5. Thanks you much for the fine article of wich much information I have been needing is inside of. I will be sure to pay much visits and atention to all future articles of such good information. Keep up with the good hard work. And speaking of hard, I have for selling some magic pills that will make you like a tree in your soft areas. Only fifty glabotniks for a bottle that will give you much happy pants for a long time.

  6. Congratulations on your fab award from the lovely and talented Bloggia Dramedella, which is italian for “female camel.” It couldn’t happen to a nicer blogger!

    You’re so right about the Liebster Award – kick it to the curb. But if we’re talking about useless, dusty awards taking up space on the mantel, what about the Versatile Blogger? That’s so common Team Irritable Bowel Syndrome rejected it! Don’t you have another award/badge you could put up there? An incredibly prestigious one? With a circle? And a chick on a sheep? Something like that would look fab on your mantel.

    1. I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve virtually misplaced my Freshly Pegged award badge. I only wish I knew how to get my hands on another one – I’d take good care of it this time, and take it for walks. It wouldn’t be any trouble. It could sleep at the foot of my bed…pleeeeez!

      1. It’s on its way to its happy new home.

        Just noticed your “ibs” tag for this post. Do you put that on every post now, kind of a rub-their-nose-in-it tactic?

        1. Technically, I did mention them in the post, but now that you mention it, I’d think they’d be happy for the free publicity. The downside is it makes me feel gassy whenever I write about them.

  7. Congrats on the award you are a great reader. Ha! and I’m sorry to hear that your preferred crack house didn’t have WiFi, better luck in another neighborhood. 🙂 I’m off to check out your nom and see how awesome you say she is. 🙂 Have a good weekend.

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