Vixen – Back From The Edge – Blogfestivus Series

Can you find the hidden picture among Santa's reindeer?  Just kidding, there's no hidden pictures!
Can you find the hidden picture among Santa’s reindeer? Just kidding, there’s no hidden pictures!

Clean and sober goin’ on 80-some years now.  Nothing worse than a reformed boozer though, right?  Running with the boys was a blast, but speed kills.  Who’d know that better than a flying reindeer?

One time in France, I was on a bender with Dancer.  We’d been to the Folies, saw Josephine Baker do the Banana Dance.  I was drinking gin and had show girls fondling my antlers.  We ended up in a smokey club and I started hitting the absinthe.  Thats’s when things got weird.  I was so twisted, I saw a little man in green calling me a “horny arse”.  I closed my eyes to escape the apparition, and when I opened them, he was gone.

Bouncers and bartenders were pushing us outside and yelling at us.  The show girls had disappeared.  I would have thought they were illusions too, except for the silk stocking I found hanging from my antlers in the jail cell.  Dancer was piss drunk, and amused by everything.

As the absinthe high faded and Dancer slept off the champagne, I sat there thinking.  I had 7 other deer, a fat guy and millions of kids counting on me.  We had no GPS or Rudolph back then.  A sleigh full of toys falling out of control because of stoned reindeer would not make a pretty landing.

I walked out of that cell on changed hooves.  It’s been nothing stronger than oats and Arctic raspberries for me ever since.

Below is a list of the links to my fellow Blogfestivus writers.  I hope they appreciate the effort I’m expending here.  I’m delivering them the gift of readers and potential followers, all tied up with a pretty bow.  Hey!  Stop picking at that bow!

Blogdramedy (Ring Leader, reindeer enthusiast, generally cool chick)

Steve BetzRewind ReviseLenore DianeShouts from the Abyss

Fit it or DealLynn Schneider BooksSo I Went Undercover

Joe Owen’s BlogMC’s WhispersLittleWonder2  –

Blog It or Lose It!Voice in MeApprentice, never master

A Year of Daily PostsDiary of a Sensitive SoulDot Knows!k8edid

Can you find the hidden picture among Santa's reindeer?  Just kidding, there's no hidden pictures!
Can you find the hidden picture among Santa’s reindeer? Just kidding, there’s no hidden pictures!

Dancer: The E!-True Hollywood Story – Blogfestivus Series

Same picture as yesterday...or IS it?
Same picture as yesterday…or IS it?

Rudolph’s the famous one, but only since he showed up.  Before that foggy night, he was nobody.  I was one of the original stars, me and Vixen.  We’d go clubbing, carrying on till the wee hours.  Show-girls go nuts for a pair of antlers.

One time, we’re at a ritzy club in Paris in the roaring 20’s, in the offseason.  Vix and me are feeling no pain.  Sometime after midnight, he switched from gin rickeys to shots of absinthe, I’m drinking champagne like it’s 7-Up.  We’re hanging out with these two wild chicks from the Folies Bergere.

Just two eternally-young reindeer bucks, a couple of frisky can-can dancers and under 3 hours till dawn.

I don’t know when, but a leprechaun from one of “The Lesser Holidays” starts mouthing off to Vixen.  Vix is starting to get a little trippy from the absinthe, and I’m not sure he even knew the wee man was real.  I’m flying, but I know an insult when I hear one.  Stumpy turned to me and called me a name which I won’t repeat here.  I turned to walk away, then gave him a “Nordic tattoo” – two rear hooves to his chin.

All hell broke loose and next thing I remember we’re badly hungover and getting bailed out of the pokey by Santa’s lawyer.  Sure, we caught some flak, but the memories of a good party were more than worth Santa’s reprimands – like he’s got room to talk anyway.

Below is a list of links to all the other Blogfestivus writers.  You’re welcome to visit their blogs and even read their posts – but any comments should be limited to telling them how witty my post is.

Blogdramedy (Ring Leader, reindeer enthusiast, generally cool chick)

Steve BetzRewind ReviseLenore DianeShouts from the Abyss

Fit it or DealLynn Schneider BooksSo I Went Undercover

Joe Owen’s BlogMC’s WhispersLittleWonder2  –

Blog It or Lose It!Voice in MeApprentice, never master

A Year of Daily PostsDiary of a Sensitive SoulDot Knows!k8edid