Happy Anniversary, Darlings!

I got a little message on my WordPress dashboard.  Apparently, today is my anniversary here in blog-land.  It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year already, but at the same time, it seems like I’ve been here so much longer.

If you haven’t read my “47 Shades of Pink” then you just don’t love me. Illustration by the author

I did a quick Google search and it turns out that the correct gift for the first anniversary is paper.  Considering I read and write blog posts on a computer, the thought of paper as an anniversary gift for you is both ironic and sweetly sentimental.  While it is our anniversary, I’m expecting nothing in return, since you probably didn’t know till I just told you.  Please don’t go out and get me some last minute piece of crap made out of paper – we’ll both regret it and I’d like to think we’re better than that.

The colored pencil drawing which accompanied my “Lust” entry in K8edid’s 7 Deadly Sins contest. I didn’t win lust, but the drawing featured some sassy espadrilles! Illustration by the author

So, anyway onto my gift to you.  It’s really not so much a gift as it is a contest to win my love.  As much as I’d rather send each and every one of you an anniversary gift, now that I’ve built up a small but loyal cadre of followers, the cost of printing and shipping could easily run into the tens of dollars.

This is actually a composite with typeface and the drawing. You don’t get the typeface, just the fat guy in the diner. For the record, his name is not Willie Prader, it’s Mr. Light. Illustration for the winning gluttony entry in the 7 Deadly Sins contest. Illustration by the author

One thing I’ve learned over our whirlwind courtship has been that not every post I’ve presented you with has been fully appreciated for the gem I’d thought it was.  In fact, a few of my posts have been barely acknowledged by you, darling.  It’s alright, I understand.  I know how busy you get with your other life away from me.  Those pesky kids, that demanding boss and your needy spouse.  I realize that my thirst for acceptance and blog adoration is going to end up on the back burner.  It’s okay – don’t apologize.

Illustration of the Easter Bunny in the off-season during my exclusive interview with him in a dive bar in the Florida panhandle. Santa was also there as well as a leprechaun. Things looked a little dicey for a while there, but I got out without a beating.

Since it’s our anniversary, I thought that maybe you could do a little something for me.  Don’t worry, it doesn’t involve lingerie or role play.  I just want to try to show you those gems one more time, and see if maybe you find them a little better the second time around.  Who knows, they may have aged like fine wines (or they may have turned to vinegar).  Give them a read and tell me which one is your favorite.  You can tell me in a sentence or wax poetic if you so desire.  Do it in the comments section of this very post, so the others can see how crazy you are about me.

The illustration for my sloth entry in the 7 Deadly Sins contest. The thumb is not easy to draw especially for lazy people like me.(Illustration by the author)

I’ll read your comments and pick my two favorites.  You’ll be notified and then you can choose which one of my dopey drawings you’d like a copy of.  I’ll make a quality copy of it and mail it to you (in the continental US please, I already mentioned the tens of dollars – sheesh!).  You can frame it or line the bottom of the parakeet cage with it.

These were all done before 3/18/2012 and none received more than 10 likes – most received only one or two.  I wasn’t hurt, just a little disappointed.

An early Facebook rant : My Anti-Social Networking

My explanation of my wife’s dislike of me shaving my head :  I Blame Vincent Price

House Hunters International – A little like crack, without the high : Ruminations on House Hunters

Bad hangovers mixed with vivid imagination is a recipe for bad things : Hangovers Dissected

Another Facebook rant – this time about pet memorials : RIP Skippy – We Miss You!

Just a little about yours truly and my wisenheimer ways : My Life As A Wise-Ass

I’ll comb through the accolades and name the winners on March 1st.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to hit “Publish” and pray that I get at least two entries.

Happy Anniversary!