PORN STAR FUGITIVE!!

The search is on for a male porn star who is wanted for murder.  While the thought of murder is far from amusing, the idea of a man-hunt for a male porn star is.  Interpol (that’s an actual law organization, not the name of a male porn star) has asked for the public’s help in capturing this alleged killer.  “Man-hunt”, on the other hand is both an official term and the name of a series of movies.

Here are a few possibilities as to what he may be doing as he attempts to avoid capture:

  • delivering pizza with an empty pizza box
  • cleaning a pool
  • working as a plumber without plumbing tools
  • doing construction in a house without any evidence of any construction work in progress
  • cutting the grass in Daisy Dukes and a skin tight shirt without any illegal immigrants helping him

Law enforcement officials also want the public to be aware of other clues which may tip them off.  These include:

  • poorly fitting 70’s porn-star mustache disguise
  • “chicka-chicka-chow-chow” sound track follows him everywhere
  • devoid of back or butt hair
  • his clothes won’t stay on, but if he’s trying to look amateur, he’ll leave his socks on
  • seldom uses words greater than 1 syllable
  • the drapes don’t match the carpet
  • ass tan
  • illegible tattoo on upper arm

Law enforcement officials warn against approaching the fugitive if you see him, as he is assumed to be armed and dangerous.  Literally, his screen name was actually “Armand Dangerouz” for a few years.