No one, including me, likes to hear an excuse. I’m fairly sure that reading them isn’t much more enjoyable. Yet, here I sit, poised to write a post which is absolutely littered with them.
After a string of several weeks putting up 4 or 5 posts, I’ve fallen off the radar.
In truth, it’s not for lack of effort. I’ve actually got a few things in the works, but none of them are quite ready yet. The last thing anyone out there needs is an under-cooked blog. They don’t digest well and will leave you readers with a funny taste in your mouths – bad funny, like getting hit in the privates, not good funny, like someone else getting hit in the privates.
Here are a few of the excuses I’ve been kicking around, followed by the reasons they suck:
Excuse #1 – I’ve been really busy with work.
This excuse sucks because: Everyone gets busy at work, or worse yet, some readers may be among the scores of unemployed or under-employed and resent the hell out of me for having a job (actually, I have 3 jobs, but bringing that up won’t likely endear me to the unemployed)
Excuse #2 – I’ve been saddled with family obligations.
This excuse sucks because: Everyone gets saddled with family obligations. Feeling put-upon by the responsibilities of family life is one of the main reasons many of us write in the first place! Writers in dry spells will envy my having family issues and obligations. To be honest, my big family obligation was driving my daughter to Pittsburgh to help her move from one college dwelling to another. That’s not exactly like having a painful, dramatic intervention to get Aunt Tilly off the booze and pills. Sorry Aunt Tilly, but making light of your addictions was for your own good (and it filled a void in my post)
Excuse #3 – I had to drive to Pittsburgh and back.
This excuse sucks because: Pittsburgh is a happening city filled with a delicious mix of culture and kitsch. Driving there and back actually got me out of New Jersey for 3 days. By the way, if you ever want to kill your liver and gain 10 pounds all in one weekend, let me know, I have some Pittsburgh attractions you won’t want to miss.
Excuse #4 – I was busy begging people to vote for me to win the “Gluttony” chapter of k8edid’s 7 Deadly Sins Challenge
This excuse sucks because: Even though I was busy begging, and I actually succeeded at winning, I now have 6 more deadly sins to write about and I have to make a good showing or I’ll look like a one-post wonder. (By the way – Thanks for voting everybody, I’ll try not to let you down)
Excuse #5 – I was busy watching the NCAA men’s lacrosse playoffs.
This excuse sucks because: It’s not entirely true. While Pittsburgh has no shortage of trendy bars and restaurants, I couldn’t find any bartenders who wanted to change the channel from tractor pulls or the replay of the Penguins most recent Stanley Cup Championship. Though its popularity is growing by leaps and bounds across all demographics, many people still consider lacrosse the bastion of affluent, snotty rich kids. With that in mind, maybe you’d enjoy watching the guy who will eventually receive a 7 figure bonus for moving your job to Sri Lanka get cross checked into the turf.
Excuse #6 – I was expending all my creative efforts writing my rant for the people in my Survivor pool at work.
This excuse sucks because: Writing this blog is the excuse I gave to my work friends for doing such a lackluster job on the Survivor rant! Let’s be honest, this season pretty much went down the toilet once Colton had to quit with menstrual cramps.
Excuse #7 – The sun was in my eyes.
This excuse sucks because: Everyone knows I do the bulk of my blogging under cover of darkness.
Excuse #8 – I’m a perfectionist – you just can’t rush true art.
This excuse sucks because: Have you read my blogs? Perfectionist? Seriously?!
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