Welcome to This Week In Normal. In this feature. I’ll be picking out a few news stories every week or so and giving my two cents on each of them. At that rate, this inaugural batch should run me about a dime. Some of you might think that this feature should be called “The Week In Weird”, but unfortunately, I’m pretty sure that name’s taken. Besides, my title is more accurate.
A University of Arizona study revealed that 72% of shopping cart handles were crawling with fecal bacteria. Where I live, we push the carts with our hands, I can only assume, no pun intended, that some people in Arizona are pushing the carts with their naked butts.
A man in England nearly died from fungal pneumonia which he contracted from the bagpipes which he regularly plays. He admitted that it’s important to get your pipes cleaned out regularly – you have to admit that’s probably easier said than done when you’re 78 years old. Also, who’d have guessed that playing the bagpipes could be as bad for your lungs as listening to them is for your ears?
Passengers on a bus from Atlantic City bound for Manhattan were moved to another bus after complaints that the original motor coach was infested with cockroaches. Scores of roaches came out of vents early in the trip. So this particular plan to export vermin out of the Garden State has been foiled. Not to worry, we’ve got other schemes in mind. Don’t believe me? What state are the Nets calling home these days?
A bakery in Clifton, New Jersey has been shut down by the FDA after products which they advertised as “sugar free” and “fat free” were found to have sugar and saturated fat in them, respectively. In the baker’s defense, it’s really really hard to make delicious baked goods without using sugar and butter and maybe a little palm oil. It’s even more difficult to get people to buy them when you do. The FDA spokesperson reportedly advised the bakery to tell its customers that they should have a piece of fresh fruit, put down that damn video game and go play outside.
A prison guard in western Pennsylvania is in trouble. Apparently, after drinking for most of the day and arguing with his wife, he attempted to shoot the wedding ring off of his finger. He badly mangled his finger, but surprisingly, the ring did not come off. Nice shot, Bucko – maybe get a little closer to your target next time. He was arrested for his reckless behavior, but the real trouble will come from his wife, who will not likely ever let him forget what an idiot he was, how embarrassed she is over the whole thing, the blood stains on the kitchen curtains, how thanks to that crappy insurance from his job, they have to pay a $1200 deductible for his trip to the ER, and whether he thought that bullets grew on trees.
30 thoughts on “This Week In Normal”
Ok, first I get enraged over at Bman, then I sachet over here only to be re-fueled. Tuesday is looking interesting indeed. I can not get past the nail gun stupidity and we really can’t discuss the shopping cart….we just can’t.
Actually the nail gun was just my (poor) choice of illustations. The guy actualy tried to shoot his ring off with an actual gun – which is so much more intelliegent than using a nail gun.
Dear God! Why are there so many asses wondering out there amongst us…why?
Umm…perhaps they’re lost…
I so wish I had considered other options before going with my first thought of “Hmm, I think I’ll read 1pointperspective’s new post while I eat my sandwich”.
That’s entirely my fault. I posted it around 7 AM Eastern Standard Time to coincide with breakfast – didn’t take into account the time of day you might be reading it. My apologies.
Eww. Gloves. Now a part of my permanent outerwear. And alcohol wipes. I no longer care if I look like Felix Unger. Maybe I just shouldn’t leave my house.
I hear ya! Now I’m gonna be all skeeved out the next time I carry my bagpipes onto a roach infested bus using a shopping cart.
Germs ruin everything, don’t they?!
Damn them those pesky germs. I’m gonna go wash my hands…again.
You are a saint and a hero. It’s people like you that risk life and limb to bring us the cold hard facts. Keep seeking out the truth sir. That aside, why is everything covered in fecal bacteria? How many studies come up with the end result of fecal matter? Even if they weren’t looking for it in the first place. 1 in 3 at least? I don’t understand.
As I stated in the post, there must be some cult out in Arizona who push shopping carts around using their asses.
Ugh, I get that sometimes you can’t find a changing table – but this woman is standing outside of Wal-Mart. There are several restrooms – all of which generally have changing tables. But no, let’s expose the baby’s butt to the world outside. I am definitely using the wipes on the cart handles now.
And the shooting the ring off the finger . . . responsible gun ownership 101 there!
Perhaps the woman was concerned about exposing her toddler to some of the morbidly obese cross dressers who show up in online Walmart pictorials all the time.
I have fond memories of a diner in Clifton and I would be fine learning that its baked goods are not sugar or fat-free. I do, however, labor under the illusion that its employees wash their hands before changing their babies diapers. Ew.
…and after. I’m out of comment-practice.
Look at the bright side, you got two Clifton mentions in there! The chamber of commerce will be loving you.
I grew up a town or two away from Clifton. The diners I most fondly recall were in Cedar Grove and Verona.
I try not to think about people not washing their hands.
One of my recent faves: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2013/01/03/can-parry-sound-sausage-theft.html
This is a perfect example of the old axiom “What happens in Parry Sound stays in Parry Sound, eh?”
Thanks for breaking that story out for the rest of us to read. Now I can feel a little better about living in my own crime ridden neighborhood.
I’m never using a shopping cart again. Well, at least until that photo escapes my memory.
I didn’t mean to traumatize so many people, but when looking for photos to illustrate fecal matter on a shopping cart, that one was too good to pass up.
Is that The Cat In The Hat playing the pipes?
I think the Cat In The Hat has smaller cheeks and a nicer hat.
omg the shopping cart one has scarred me for life I think. I’m also never taking a bus again. Cockroaches out of vents sounds like a Stephen King novel
..or at the very least an episode of Fear Factor.
I’d heard that New York had a lot of cockroaches, I just never knew they got there via Greyhound!
I hear pushing-shopping-carts-with-your-naked-butt floats are big in Tucson. Arizona Tourism: take note.
Ugh, the cart one is so disgusting and so true. As soon as I get inside Walmart, I take a quick shower in Purell. I remember reading about the cockroach story. Reminds me of living in Orlando when I was a kid. We’d come home from a long day and my mom would yell out “We’re home!” and the cockroaches would scamper back into the walls. True story. (shudders)
I worked in a bar like that in college, and I’ve been to plenty of place doing homecare – one in particular is blog worthy.
On the bright side, if the roaches back in Orlando “scampered” then they couldn’t have been that bad, right?