I was glancing through my abysmal stats and realized with a dull surprise that I haven’t posted jack-squat in twelve days.
It’s not as if the world hasn’t been providing me with more than enough fodder to ridicule or outlandish news to leave me gob-smacked. The fault is not the world’s, it’s entirely mine. I’ve let life get in the way of writing about life and you, my loyal readers have suffered for it. I apologize.
Installing Vine on my not-so-smart phone certainly hasn’t helped my productivity. I’ve been snacking on 6 second videos which make Tweets from B-list celebrities look like James Michener novels.
I’ve also been on a diet. While hopefully easing my waistline back away from triple digits, it’s been fairly miserable. I don’t how I can possibly be expected to write when my stomach is desperately crying out for food and booze. On one occasion my keyboard started looking like a deluxe assortment of licorice and dark chocolates decorated with letters and numbers.
Then the other day I was knocked out of my stupor. The talented Andrew of Shut Up Dad posted a blog letting us all know he’d published his first e-book. After 1.4 seconds of being impressed and happy for his accomplishment, I moved into a state of seething jealousy. I decided right then that I’m going to get one of my works published (I’m sure someone will do it if I pay them enough).
I’ve been gradually adding to a short story I posted around the holidays which four or five of you might recall reading, called “Christmas Greetings From The Zombie Apocalypse“. As you might gather from the title, it’s a light-hearted romp filled with tender moments and wholesome family values. Actually, it’s not. Feel free to see for yourself.
I was considering trying my hand at presenting CGFTZA as a graphic novel. For those of you in the dark about the format, “graphic novels” may also be referred to as “expensive comic books“. After careful consideration of the graphic novel idea, I had to admit to myself that my drawing style is not really along the lines of the comic book art, or at least not what I would want. More importantly, I draw even slower than I write, so it would likely take decades to accomplish.
So anyway, now I’ve really done it. I’ve promised myself to get something finished and published (e or otherwise) here in this most public of venues. Crap! Now I have to do it.
1pointperspective 
You sound like me, although I haven’t posted in 27 days so there’s that. I always plan on writing that book or pamplet or napkin and then I get distracted by dust mites and train whistles.
And it’s “pamphlet” although maybe I would do better trying for a pamplet.
I was going to correct your spelling, then a dust mite distracted me and I…wait, what were we talking about?
Speaker, you’re inspiring me. Resolving to get started on my own, epic napkin…right after this nap break.
Yes, you’d better get it done! As your BFF (Best Fan Forever) I require it. Also, as your resident zombie expert (Shameless self promotion) I feel like you have a great start. And need to finish it.
Earl needs to be heard!
mate, you can draw! that illustration is sick, do you have behance.net account?
I don’t know what a “behance account” is. Does it involve hefty fees and fraternity style hazing rituals?
hahah no, its for creatives, create a portfolio for free and just look at other artists work around the world, all mediums of art and design, writing film etc….
http://www.behance.net check it out. I just love your illustration and would like to see more.
As long as we’re sharing links, here’s one to see the rest of the crap I’ve drawn for my blog over the months.
cool, cheers man. I’m an illustrator to you see, and I like the ideas you draw, something children can relate to, yet you’ve turned it on its arse and made it mature, like it’s lived a life.. and it’s the easter bunny. nice idea. good sense of humour.
Glad to hear you’re alive/starving! The off-season Easter Bunny is my favorite drawing! It makes me laugh every time I look at it. Good luck on meeting your goals – I believe I’ve gone into withdrawal from ambition, but maybe you’ll inspire the rest of us.
D. You should listen, I mean really listen, to mb1992…and I will nag you and kick your bum straight to the…well..the barn where else?…until you quit complaining and get busy!
Love, hugs and snarky *snorts*….R.
Ah, I haven’t posted in one week and already I feel like I’m in wordpress exile.
And I’m also on a diet, no alcohol, dairy or meat. You’d think I would have tackled just one of those, but no, I thought I’d drive myself completely insane but giving up all of it PLUS blogging. God, do I need a drink now.
I just convinced myself that I wasn’t hungry only to drive past massive BBQ…I was wrong, I was damn hungry…I still am…and so thirsty for any number of delicious summer cocktails…ugh.
I’ve had it with beating myself up over weight – up, down, up down – it’s a freaking roller coaster! I’m on an ANTI-diet where I see how much weight I can GAIN in the shortest amount of time. I am doing amazingly well! So proud, so proud.
Eat something fried for me, please, and if possible wash it down with a frosty vodka n tonic. Thanks…I appreciate it.
Must be something in the air. I just can’t seem to make myself create anything. About an hour ago I realized I was suppose to post something yesterday, but put it off to today, and then just… didn’t do it. Huh.
I’m tired…maybe tomorrow…after my nap
I feel you on the dieting and on the keyboard/chocolate thing. It’s very hard to concentrate on blog writing, or anything else, when your stomach (and brain) are constantly saying HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY.
Plus, everyone knows that drinking alcohol will doom any diet…so I’m miserable on two fronts.
I know. It’s awful to be on a diet during frozen margarita season.
Thanks for bringing that up. I’m gonna go munch on a salted lime and pretend.
I love the Easter Bunny drawing!
Twelve days is nothing. My most recent post before today’s was 23 days ago (and, really, 31 days if you only count substantive posts).
I read the comments, and it sounds like a lot of people have the same problem. This could be because of that thing called “summer”. Not sure what it is, but I’ve noticed that it usually gets warmer near the computer around that time.
Good luck on your diet. I hope it has a positive effect on your writing, because you know what they say about starving artists…
What blew me away was that it appears as if no one hit the link to go to the original post and read it! I’m guessing they’re waiting for the longer version to come out so they can plunk down some hard earned sheckles for it.
I didn’t click on it, because I remembered what it was. Not perfectly, of course, but enough to know what the post was about.
Oh yeah, and we’re planning to plunk down sheckels for it, it’s best if we don’t remember it at all.
You should sooooo write a book, and your drawings are so fab it would be a huge hit. Huge. I’ll be your chief cheerleader because I believe in you so much. Also because that gives me an excuse to write diddly squat myself, so it’s win-win.
Where are you? I’ve looked in the hay loft….you hiding? Come out. Come out where ever you are…….
This is my elaborate attempt to make you miss me even more than usual, so when I show up in the city of roses you’ll be even happier to see me. FYI: I should be free for a coffee on August 1,2, or 3rd. I’ll email you.
All 3 dates marked in diary. Keeping all options open (meaning hours of day that coffee is drinkable…all) and barn boots polished.
Well, I’m now back home and eagerly awaiting delivery of what will sure to become my most prized piece of ass…I mean, artwork. Perhaps my reaction will provide you with some fodder for your blog. I’ll do my very best to help out a fellow blogger. *grin*
I’ve been away for a while, too. Just trying to peek in on a few folks during lunch hour. Hope all is well.